1. People like stupid people. Why? Because they make us feel less stupid. Even though, ironically, we are pretty stupid for watching the aforementioned stupid people.

2. Watching horrible people do horrible things entertains us. With what result? Horrible people find fame and fortune. Jade Goody still graces the pages of tabloids and yet this racist, mingin woman is famous for what? Being racist and mingin.

3. By watching this show, we affirm for these stupid, horrible people, that they are indeed ‘important’. Take Lisa, in one episode she said: ‘I’ve always thought I was destined for something big, it’s just come a bit later on in life than expected. I could feel it in my spirit.’ What could she be referring to I wonder? Was she working in the third world saving children? A work of art? Maybe she led a world changing protest? No, of course not. She was talking about Big Brother. On what planet does being on Big Brother count as being important? Big? If this is your life ambition you need to get a new ambition. And a new life.

When Big Brother first aired it was fascinating. A window into the mundane that was bizarrely addictive. There was a range of people in the house, we saw people of different backgrounds interact under pressure, we saw friendships forged and enemies made over the most minute chores and conflicts. Today Big Brother is a shadow of itself, relying on a forced mix of kooks, bastards and sexpots to keep things interesting. Yet it’s not. Time to close up shop and put something else on the air, seriously.

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Here is what Neve has to say about her upcoming role:

Who do you play in Burn Up and what attracted you to the project?
 
I play Holly Dernay. She’s an environmentalist working for the renewables division in an oil company. The script is incredibly well written, which is unusual nowadays. The characters are very strong and the writer is very passionate about this issue and the environment – as am I.
 
How did you find shooting in your homeland?

I love shooting in Canada, I love coming home. I usually come back once a year to visit my family, but if there’s ever an opportunity to shoot at home, I love to come back and film with Canadians.
 
It’s great to be here in the cold weather – some of the Brits had trouble with the cold, but as I grew up in Toronto, I’m used to it!
 
Has shooting Burn Up changed your opinion on global issues?

I don’t think doing this has changed my opinion on global warming, as it’s something that I’ve been very concerned about for a number of years, as have many of my friends and family. It’s has been good to learn more about it from the writer’s research though.
 
What difference does a big budget make to a production, when you’re used to productions like Scream? Do you think the programme becomes more reliant on good story telling?

I think that every piece should be reliant on a strong script and good storyline, but unfortunately some people think that with a big budget they can just get away with some great shoots.
 
Although, I think they don’t realise that the audiences are disappointed, they think if people sit in the seats, then it’s fine and everyone’s happy but that’s not necessarily the case.
 
I think either way, whether this production had a huge or small budget, the great script was there, the committed actors and director were there and if you have those things in place then you should have a good piece.
 
Last year you presented the UK leg of Live Earth. Are issues like this important to you?

Any time that I can help to raise awareness on the subject of global warming, I’m happy to jump on board. Although I’m not going to deny the fact that the great music also attracted me to the concert!
 
One of the things that they asked me to talk to the audience about was what a difference it would make if everybody just unplugged one light bulb in their house. You may not think so, but it would make a massive difference to the environment.
 
See Neve in Burn Up on BBC2 in July.

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The World Wildlife Fund and the International Union for the Conservation of Nature have put out this amusing viral to publicize Connect2earth.org, a website providing information on how to help the environment.  The site essentially acts as a forum for keen green guardians to articulate their ideas for the World Conservation Congress in October.

Featuring lazy, unfit superheroes who can’t be arsed to save the world, agency Escape Partners intend the ad to challenge the easily adopted attitude of idleness when it comes to doing a little to saving the planet.  As one superman walks by, he casts indifferent glances to a man falling from a tall building, a mother losing grip of her pram that rolls down steps and (my particular favourite superhero faux pas) a granny getting mowed down by a van.

A smart ad, it tackles an important, but unfortunately overdone subject using definitive terms.  Try, or don’t bother.  Both have consequences. 

To pull your finger out (if you can be arsed), go to www.connect2earth.org.

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Cheryl Ann Tweedy was born in Newcastle-upon-Tyne on 30th June 1983 into a family of five children. She was a natural performer from an early age, dancing in local recitals and television. The versatile youngster cut her showbiz teeth in ballroom dancing, ballet and modelling. Her good looks were recognised early. Her list of accolades include Boots bonniest baby, Mothercare Happy Faces Portrait competition, Best Looking Girl of Newcastle, The Evening Chronicle ‘Little Miss & Mister’ and Most Attractive Girl at the MetroCentre. This led to an appearance in several television commercials.

Tweedy was working as a waitress when she auditioned for the girl group in Popstars: The Rivals.

After storming her way through the live knock-out shows, Tweedy was eventually voted into Girls Aloud along with Nicola Roberts, Kimberley Walsh, Sarah Harding and Nadine Coyle.

Shortly after Girls Aloud’s launch Cheryl was involved in a disagreement with nightclub toilet attendant Sophie Amogbokpa in a Guildford nightclub. She was charged with racially aggravated assault and actual bodily harm. Despite claiming that she had acted in self defence, Cheryl was found guilty of assault occasioning actual bodily harm, and was sentenced to 120 hours of community service. She had to pay Amogbokpa £500 in compensation, as well as £3000 court costs. She has always denied that the attack was racial.

The controversy didn’t stop Girls Aloud from scoring eighteen consecutive Top 10 hits and releasing four studio albums after their first single ‘Sound of the Underground’ stormed the charts.

When Cheryl got together with footballer Ashley Cole, it was a match made in tabloid heaven. The pair married at Wrotham Park in Hertfordshire on 15th July 2006. Cheryl wore a dress especially designed for her by Roberto Cavalli, reportedly worth £110,000. OK! Magazine paid £1 million to cover the wedding.

However, the fairytale wasn’t to last. Cheryl’s personal life was thrust into the public eye once again in January 2008 when allegations surfaced in the tabloid press that Ashley had been unfaithful. Two girls, including hairdresser Aimee Walton, claimed to have slept with the footballer. Aimee told the press that Ashley’s management had even offered to pay for her to have an abortion. Imaginably, Cheryl was devastated. She was pictured without her wedding ring on holiday with her band mates in Thailand, and Britain was poised for news of a divorce. But Cheryl decided to give her husband another chance. The pair reunited, with rumours of a sex ban imposed by Cheryl until wayward Ashley learned his lesson.

Despite this knock to her confidence Cheryl’s career went from strength to strength. She trained as a street dancer in ITV’s four part series The Passions of Girls Aloud which led to a part in Black Eyed Peas’ singer Will.i.am’s single ‘Heartbreaker’, and has recently accepted Sharon Osbourne’s job on the judging panel of this year’s X Factor.

A string of Top 10 records, a place in one of the UK’s most successful girl bands, and a blossoming TV career - life is looking good for the Newcastle lass.

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 KIDS, KNIVES AND BROKEN LIVES
Channel 4 Monday 30th June 9pm  Alert Me!

As part of the Disarming Britain season, a major new season examining the effect of gun and knife crime on Britain’s streets, Kids, Knives and Broken Lives investigates why so many young people regularly take to the streets of Britain armed with guns and knives. In a climate where politicians struggle to stem the tide of violence in Britain’s inner cities, this film offers an insight into why street weapons have become so widespread by hearing directly from the young people themselves. Director Jezza Neumann and producer Brian Woods (the multi-Bafta-winning team behind Dispatches: China’s Stolen Children and Dispatches: Undercover in Tibet ) go to London, Birmingham, Manchester and Bradford to explore the day-to-day reality of life for those who carry weapons.

THIS IS ENGLAND  
FilmFour Tuesday 1st July 9pm  Alert Me!

This breathtaking film by Shawn Meadows is a must watch . Based on the childhood of writer director 13-year-old Shaun (Thomas Turgoose) has to endure bullying at school both for his dress sense and, more spitefully, the loss of his father in the Falklands War. Then he chances upon a gang of skinheads, led by the affable Woody (Joe Gilgun) who, although they all appear menacing, accept him into the group, offering him an identity.

BRITAIN’S MISSING TOP MODEL
BBC 3 Wednesday 2nd July 9pm   Alert Me!

Part of the BBC’s Beauty Season the name of this show turns the head alone. A play off Britain’s Next Top Model, this follows exactly the same wannabe model structure with one key difference. Each of the wannabes has a disability. It could be cringeworthy. It could be a non conformist, courageous look at beauty. Either way, this is definitely one to watch.

FALLOUT
Channel 4 Thursday 3rd July 10pm  Alert Me!

The centrepiece of the Disarming Britain season, Fallout is a gripping one-off drama, adapted by award-winning playwright Roy Williams from his acclaimed stage play, and directed by leading theatre director Ian Rickson. Lennie James is Joe, a policeman returning to the estate where he grew up to investigate the murder of a black teenager. When 16-year-old Kwame is stabbed to death by a local gang, the lives, feelings and fears of the young perpetrators and the police officers investigating the crime are exposed in full. The young cast includes Gugu Mbatha-Raw ( Spooks , Doctor Who ) and 13-year-old Jerome Holder.

HEROES
BBC 2 Thursday 3rd July 9.00pm  Alert Me! 

Nathan (Adrian Pasdar) clashes with his brother as the series reaches an explosive, bloody conclusion. It’s hero versus hero as the epic American drama, chronicling the lives of ordinary people who discover they possess extraordinary powers, comes to an explosive, bloody finish.

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It seems as if the broadcasting team, as of a tea time, enjoy whipping their female viewers into a self-image frenzy.  One evening they’ll show How to Look Good Naked with Gok Wan nonchalantly grabbing women’s flabby bits and telling them how fabulous they look and the next they’ll whack on 10 Years Younger with that Icky Hambleton Jones witch, who basically rips apart women’s confidence by telling them how disturbingly old they look for their age before suggesting that cutting half their face off will improve their life. 

Just what are they trying to achieve - a nation of bewildered schizophrenic females unsure whether to twirl around in front of the mirror or break down and sob at the sight?  It just ain’t fair.  How to Look Good Naked is based on the principle that women do not need to change the way they look, they need to change the way they feel about the way they look.  Whereas, 10 Years Younger, although ostensibly also about making women feel good about themselves, actually advocates self-mutilation in frank acknowledgement that what women have got is not good enough.  There’s no question that the women don’t have surgery (this part of the programme takes up a good ten minutes).

And what’s more, if the TV schedule wasn’t enough to mess with their heads, the official programme websites even have links to each other as if they are singing from the same hymn sheet.   A lady having a good day, pretty sure she’s looking hot can be browsing the HTLGN website, reading about all ‘Gok’s triumphs from the last series’ and finds ‘the perfect fashion’ for her body shape.  But then, she spots the link to 10YY and before she knows it has clicked it and is suddenly heading for dangerous water.  There’s the “Guess my Age” feature in which she is asked to upload a photo of herself to be judged by the masses.  Now, excuse me for my cynicism but there is not going to be much feel good action as a result of that.  What person, in their right mind puts their picture up to be scrutinised by the world and trusts that people will be kind?!  People will not be kind.  They will be just like they are on the programme where women are deemed older than they are (this is what the whole premise of 10YY relies on).  Moreover, after the knock-back judgement, not only is Nicky there staring with her unfeeling shark eyes standing among a dentist and plastic surgeon, but the little box at the bottom also begins to look more appealing: ‘Get advice on cosmetic surgery here’.

So, in short, Channel 4, stop sending out mixed messages!  Maybe Gok and Nicky both need their voice but recognize that where one is a chirpy Jiminy Cricket the other is Othello’s merciless Iago.  Sort out the websites so they don’t look like they’re best buds and give them a Les Dennis/Bob Mortimer boxing match to underscore their differences.   That should sort it out.

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Here’s what Pete has to say about it…

“It’s all about Ben getting involved in the criminal justice system, and how you actually defend somebody in this situation. There are complications between the different barristers and the lawyers, how they manipulate each other, how they play the game,” he says of his first TV drama since 2000’s The Sins.

“It’s been a while – it’s funny seeing myself on telly again,” admits Pete, whose career on the silver screen since The Sins has included roles in The Constant Gardener (2005), Valley Of The Heart’s Delight (2006) and the 2006 remake of The Omen. He says this move away from TV has not been deliberate, though: “Not at all. Either I’ve been doing other things or I haven’t read anything – or been asked, perhaps – for TV. Whenever I get a good script I don’t care whether it’s telly or theatre or big screen – I’m not bothered.”
And Moffat’s script certainly fitted his criteria and immediately caught Pete’s eye, and he didn’t hesitate in accepting the role.
“It fulfils everything. I only read the first two scripts to start with and the writing was so compelling that I thought, well, if Moffat can keep this up, this is going to be something extraordinary.”

Hooch becomes Ben’s only ally in the prison and tries to protect him from the bad influences inside, including Freddy Graham, who, it soon becomes clear, practically runs the prison wing and even has the guards turning a blind eye when he most needs it. Ben is lost and confused and trying to come to terms with his new life and, without the help, care and companionship of his cellmate, who tells him to “play the game”, he would surely not have coped.

But, says Pete, while on the surface Hooch may seem to be a good guy, there is more to him than meets the eye: “Hooch is as complex as all the other characters, I think. That’s what’s great about the script – no character is linear. They’re all complex human beings in their own right. The interesting thing with Hooch is that he, too, is incredibly compromised. He’s in a terribly compromised position and he hates it but he feels that’s the only way he can continue.  

“I’ve got a back story for him. I think he was horrendous, absolutely the pits. He was very dark and I think he is carrying that with him. That’s why he’s a listener, that’s why he listens to other people. He says at one point, ‘Being in here and being a listener is like being a priest. People talk to me like they’ve never talked to anybody before in their lives,’ and he feels that is a very positive thing to do.

“I think he finds redemption at the end though, and peace and atonement,” he adds, although he admits that “Ben feels incredibly let down by him, eventually”.

Pete Postlethwaite is full of admiration for Ben Whishaw, who plays Ben: “He’s quite an actor, quite a chameleon,” he says. “He’s very, very good and it’s a stunning piece of casting. And he really goes through it. I know towards the end of the shoot he was like a wrung-out dishcloth, poor lad. He was physically and emotionally drained.”

While Pete admits it was also a tough shoot for him, because it was filmed over a short period of time, he believes that this just adds to the drama: “In a way, it forces you to think very clearly and very quickly. There’s a kind of energy that’s created and I thrive in those situations.” ■

Don’t miss him in the high energy Criminal Justice in its five-day consecutive run as it debuts on BBC 1 on Monday 30th June at 9pm.

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“You wouldn’t start a night like this, so why end it that way?”

Right then, if we’re really expected to answer this question, the main reason for this is that at the start of the night one holds an insipid kind of mindset, more or less believing that looking decent when out is what really matters as she/he labours over lippie or hair gel, whereas by the end of the night, the “more or less” in this feeling has grown to a “hardly” and resulted in the feeling that gross hedonism is the clearly way forward.  Who gives a monkeys what they look like?  As long as someone’s there, holding back their hair then sod the rip in their jeans.  Life’s for living. 

Obviously, this isn’t a productive dialogue to have.  Why?  Because it’s not really a straightforward start vs. end affair and it certainly does not revolve around one’s appearance at those points.  I can’t help thinking that this advert just gets it all wrong by using irrelevant reasoning.  Number one, drinking alcohol is about a process (namely involving kicking back, finding the world a funnier place and gradually disregarding social constraints that cause unnecessary pressure), it’s not simply a sober = refined Jekyll, drunk = hideous Hyde situation.  Of course, it’s helpful if this unwinding is within reason, but let’s think about it a minute - murdering small children when you lose your inhibitions is one thing, even starting a fight is not cool, but spilling something on your top or smudging your make-up?!  It’s hardly an all-time sin. 

Ok, I understand that people need to be aware of the dangers of binge drinking (and vomit in hair is not a good look for anyone) but talk about the actual dangers then please.  Don’t use front-page tabloid Winehouse/Doherty aesthetics and twisted logic about appearance in an attempt to shame people into thinking that’s why they shouldn’t drink.  People shouldn’t drink because it’s bad for their health and they act like idiots harming themselves or others.  Not because they don’t look so pretty after a few.  Amen.

To watch a better advert that the Home Office came up with a while ago, which effectively deals with the danger of drinking too much, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU9hD50Qr4I

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The adventures of New York sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw catapulted Sarah Jessica Parker into the limelight and earned her four Golden Globe Awards, two Screen Actors Guild Awards and two Emmy Awards. However, the actress had a long career before she donned her Manolos in the adaptation of Candace Bushnell’s novel.

She was born in Nelsonville, Ohio, in 1965 to a nursery school teacher and a Jewish journalist. Of her background Sarah says “I always just considered myself a Jew” and now classes herself as culturally Jewish along with her husband Matthew Broderick who also has one Jewish parent.

Sarah’s parents divorced when she was very young and her mother remarried, resulting in a family of seven siblings. Sarah’s love of performing was evident at an early age. The youngster took singing and ballet lessons and was being cast in the Broadway production of The Innocents. As her career developed, the family moved to Cincinnati then to Dobbs Ferry in New York State. In 1977 they moved to Manhattan proper, but travelled between New Jersey, New York and Los Angeles to support Sarah’s burgeoning talent.

It seemed that Sarah’s future lay in musical theatre. She and four of her siblings appeared in a revival of The Sound of Music, and Sarah joined the cast of Annie on Broadway in 1977 playing a small role. In 1979 she was promoted to the lead role which she held for a year.

But television work beckoned. Sarah was cast as the co-lead in sitcom Square Pegs in 1982. The show was cancelled after just one season but Sarah’s talent had been noticed. This led to her being cast in Footloose in 1984 and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun in 1985, followed by Disney’s science fiction Flight of the Navigator in 1986.

The 1990s saw Sarah’s star rise further. Her 1991 appearance in rom-com L.A. Story was critically acclaimed, leading to what was probably her breakthrough role in Honeymoon in Vegas alongside Nicolas Cage. Her 1993 role in the film Hocus Pocus was a higher grosser at the box office but received negative reviews. The following year, she appeared opposite Johnny Depp in the critically acclaimed movie Ed Wood.

The rest of the early 90s brought a raft of romantic comedy roles to Sarah’s portfolio, and it looked as if she would follow the path of many actresses who never quite hit the big-time – safe, middle of the road roles. All this changed when Sarah received a script for an HBO drama comedy series called Sex and the City. Initially unwilling to commit to a long-term series, Sarah was eventually won over by the character of Carrie – a glamorous New York journalist with a penchant for designer shoes – and took the role.

This was probably the most important decision in Sarah’s career. The show was an instant success and ran for six seasons, the final three of which Sarah co-produced. Fans were devastated when the series ended in 2004 but rumours of a film started to spring up almost immediately. It took four years for the initial idea to evolve into a feature, despite murmurs from the four lead actresses that it would never happen. The film was on May 30th 2008 and a sequel is planned for 2009.

Her role in Sex and the City made SJP into a style icon and won her contracts with high profile companies like Gap and Garnier. In 2005 she released her perfume, ‘Lovely’, followed by ‘Covet’ two years later, and launched her fashion line Bitten in 2007.

Sarah dated Robert Downey Jr. from 1984 until 1991 after meeting on the set of Firstborn. The relationship floundered because of Downey’s drug problem, and Sarah was linked to John Kennedy Jr. and singer-songwriter Joshua Kadison in the early 1990s. She married actor Matthew Broderick on May 19th 1997 and their son James was born in 2002. The Parker-Brodericks lives in New York City.

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CATHOUSE
Five Thursday 26th June 11:00pm Alert Me!

This series provides an intimate portrait of life inside one of America’s best-known legal brothels, Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada. In this first programme, a woman gives her new spouse an unusual wedding present, and a group of clients enjoy a hands-on crash course in sex

THE FIFTH ELEMENT
Film Four Sunday 29th June 10:50pm Alert me!

Luc Besson’s stunning, audacious science-fiction thriller stars Bruce Willis as Korben Dalls, an ex-government agent, now reduced to driving a taxi in 23rd-century New York. Into his lap falls the mysterious Leeloo (Milla Jovovich), a woman created from an alien cell who may be the only hope the world has of salvation from an ever-approaching evil. A visually stunning film that became a deserved cult classic.
STRICTLY BABY FIGHT CLUB
More 4 Sunday 29 June 10pm Alert Me!

This powerful, one-off observational documentary offers a rare insight into child Thai boxing, one of the fastest growing martial arts in the UK. Channel 4’s Cutting Edge strand enters the competitive and sometimes obsessive worlds of four families who are investing everything into training their kids to be the best young fighters in Britain. If you missed it the first time round, now is your chance to catch up on this controversial documentary.

GLASTONBURY 2008
BBC TWO, THREE Saturday 28 and Sunday 29 June Coverage starts 7pm Friday Alert Me!

Amy Winehouse, Duffy, Elbow and Jay-Z are just a few of the headline acts featuring in BBC Television’s continuing coverage of the UK’s biggest summer festival. Despite the Jay-Z controversy this is bound to be a fantastic weekend of music.

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