Big Brother is a Big Let Down
Big Brother is really doing my nut in. The granddaddy of reality TV, this show has contaminated the airwaves for nearly ten years now. And you know what, we still watch it. Even me and I think it’s the stupidest show ever made. Sure the ratings are down, but there are still over a million people tuning into this show every day.
What does that say? Well let’s have a look:
1. People like stupid people. Why? Because they make us feel less stupid. Even though, ironically, we are pretty stupid for watching the aforementioned stupid people.
2. Watching horrible people do horrible things entertains us. With what result? Horrible people find fame and fortune. Jade Goody still graces the pages of tabloids and yet this racist, mingin woman is famous for what? Being racist and mingin.
3. By watching this show, we affirm for these stupid, horrible people, that they are indeed ‘important’. Take Lisa, in one episode she said: ‘I’ve always thought I was destined for something big, it’s just come a bit later on in life than expected. I could feel it in my spirit.’ What could she be referring to I wonder? Was she working in the third world saving children? A work of art? Maybe she led a world changing protest? No, of course not. She was talking about Big Brother. On what planet does being on Big Brother count as being important? Big? If this is your life ambition you need to get a new ambition. And a new life.
When Big Brother first aired it was fascinating. A window into the mundane that was bizarrely addictive. There was a range of people in the house, we saw people of different backgrounds interact under pressure, we saw friendships forged and enemies made over the most minute chores and conflicts. Today Big Brother is a shadow of itself, relying on a forced mix of kooks, bastards and sexpots to keep things interesting. Yet it’s not. Time to close up shop and put something else on the air, seriously.
Rant: Make up your mind Channel 4! Should women love what they’ve got or get surgery?
Channel 4 need to get their act together on the message they’re sending out to women of the UK. Do they want them to retain a stiff (unbotoxed) upper lip, accept the shape they are and start being more positive about their bodies? Or, do they want women to deem themselves lesser beings for their flaws and therefore jump under the surgeon’s knife to slice them into their ideal?
It seems as if the broadcasting team, as of a tea time, enjoy whipping their female viewers into a self-image frenzy. One evening they’ll show How to Look Good Naked with Gok Wan nonchalantly grabbing women’s flabby bits and telling them how fabulous they look and the next they’ll whack on 10 Years Younger with that Icky Hambleton Jones witch, who basically rips apart women’s confidence by telling them how disturbingly old they look for their age before suggesting that cutting half their face off will improve their life.
Just what are they trying to achieve - a nation of bewildered schizophrenic females unsure whether to twirl around in front of the mirror or break down and sob at the sight? It just ain’t fair. How to Look Good Naked is based on the principle that women do not need to change the way they look, they need to change the way they feel about the way they look. Whereas, 10 Years Younger, although ostensibly also about making women feel good about themselves, actually advocates self-mutilation in frank acknowledgement that what women have got is not good enough. There’s no question that the women don’t have surgery (this part of the programme takes up a good ten minutes).
And what’s more, if the TV schedule wasn’t enough to mess with their heads, the official programme websites even have links to each other as if they are singing from the same hymn sheet. A lady having a good day, pretty sure she’s looking hot can be browsing the HTLGN website, reading about all ‘Gok’s triumphs from the last series’ and finds ‘the perfect fashion’ for her body shape. But then, she spots the link to 10YY and before she knows it has clicked it and is suddenly heading for dangerous water. There’s the “Guess my Age” feature in which she is asked to upload a photo of herself to be judged by the masses. Now, excuse me for my cynicism but there is not going to be much feel good action as a result of that. What person, in their right mind puts their picture up to be scrutinised by the world and trusts that people will be kind?! People will not be kind. They will be just like they are on the programme where women are deemed older than they are (this is what the whole premise of 10YY relies on). Moreover, after the knock-back judgement, not only is Nicky there staring with her unfeeling shark eyes standing among a dentist and plastic surgeon, but the little box at the bottom also begins to look more appealing: ‘Get advice on cosmetic surgery here’.
So, in short, Channel 4, stop sending out mixed messages! Maybe Gok and Nicky both need their voice but recognize that where one is a chirpy Jiminy Cricket the other is Othello’s merciless Iago. Sort out the websites so they don’t look like they’re best buds and give them a Les Dennis/Bob Mortimer boxing match to underscore their differences. That should sort it out.
By Susan Allen
Rant: TV-born ‘Talent’ Not To Be Sniffed At
There’s something rotten in the world of television these days. Dividing the nation, sending us to the phones in droves… Talent shows. But wait, this isn’t a rant about how reality TV is bringing the music industry to its knees, or how talentless dross is clogging the charts.
No. I want to present another side to the story. A slightly controversial viewpoint, if you will. I’m suggesting – wait for it – that some talent show alumni actually do have some talent. So many people love to leap onto their soapboxes to decry the tattered state of society since talent shows began to dominate the prime time (the same sort who come over all outraged when faced with more than just coffee or tea to choose from at Caffè Nero. “Mocha-chocca-locha? Double frappe-latte? Long wet venti?” they cry. “In my day the only choice you had was sugar or no sugar!” To these latter-day Luddites I long to shout ‘Get with the picture, you unimaginative chumps’. Most people are sophisticated enough to read the menu and differentiate between your run-of-the-mill filter coffee and your fancier alternative. The Dark Ages of boring beverages are over! But I digress.)
Don’t get me wrong - I don’t necessarily love TV talent shows or the artists they spawn. You won’t find Steve Brookstein on my iPod, that’s for sure. I’m just saying that we shouldn’t tar everyone with the same brush. If you doubt my wisdom, try watching one of Leona Lewis’s X Factor performances on YouTube. If that’s not talent, I don’t know what is. Not everyone loves a warbler, but you have to admit that the girl can sing.
But for every Leona Lewis who charms the nation and storms the charts there are three Leon Jacksons (“Who?” you might ask. Precisely.). For every Girls Aloud at Number 1 there’s a Hear’Say lurking in the bargain bin. So I’m not suggesting that reality TV should replace drama school, and I’m not saying that every winner is a glittering star in a pantheon all of their own. Far from it. I recently saw the musical ‘Grease’ whose lead duo was picked on the show ‘Grease is the Word’. They were passable. Not even nearly bad. But they weren’t great. They were miles behind the professionals in every way. Their singing was slightly off, their dancing was awry and their acting was lacklustre. But then again, I saw public-chosen Connie Fisher as Maria in ‘The Sound of Music’ last year (I like musicals, ok?) and she was fantastic. So there are no hard and fast rules. That’s why it’s best not to jump to negative conclusions about these people just because they come from a reality show.
However, I understand where a lot of the anti-talent show malaise comes from. Every time you flick the telly on these days there seems to be some sort of vote-a-thon where young dreams are broken nightly by high-trousered know-alls and their weepy sidekicks. It’s staple television. And it’s symbiotic too – these shows feed into the music industry, so everyone’s a winner. Aside, it seems, from swathes of the population who’ve had it up to here with the production line. But there’s only a supply because there’s a demand, so don’t be too quick to judge. Just a thought.
by Susie Gordon
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