New Chris Packham Show Reveals ‘Bizarre Animal Relationships’
Everyone’s favourite* nature documentary presenter, Chris Packham is set to make a TV return with a new series about the “bizarre relationship” between creatures.
It was rumoured that the former Really Wild Show presenter would begin in Essex with an examination of Arg and his lesser-spotted on/off mate, Lydia Bright, whose “bizarre” connection continues to baffle and astound viewers who scream “just move on”.
But those rumours were totally unfounded and we now bring you news that in Secrets Of The Living Planet, the naturalist will venture from Brazil to Bangladesh in a bid to explain some of the hidden relationships shared by living things.
In each of the four hour-long episodes, Packham will explore a different ecosystem and the strange symbiotic relationships which exist therein. Apparently crabs in Bangladesh need tigers and geckos in Kenya need giraffes…who knew?!
Shedding light on the reason he took part in the new series, Packham said: “My earliest memories are of discovering beauty in small things. The Ladybird that tickled my palm and pitched on the tip of my finger was formatively perfect.”
*sheds tear*
“Understanding nature is not about knowing why birds sing, why bees buzz or why fish swirl in silvery shoals”, he continued. “It’s about being able to see the bigger picture, being able to see how all life is connected and, by unravelling the stories that link species, it’s also about developing a deeper more profound appreciation of life.”
Secrets of The Living Planet is due to air on BBC Two at 8pm on snuggly Sunday evenings. The first episode will be shown on Sunday 24 June.
*after David Attenborough…and Michaela Strachan
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“I’m Ready For The X Factor Axe”, Says Louis Walsh
Down and out?
After almost a decade on perhaps the most iconic Saturday night entertainment show of our time, Louis Walsh fears that this year may be his last on The X Factor.
According to reports by The Sun, the Irish music manager and coiner of terrible phrases feels sure that Cowell will eject him from the panel to make room for fresh talent.
Louis said: “I can’t believe it is my ninth year on X Factor. But I really don’t know if I’ll make it to ten.
“If I work hard, I’ll get the job. If not, Simon will let me go. It’s going to be hard work this year, really hard work. Simon will be cracking the whip.
“He makes the best shows but nobody is safe to stay. If I don’t make ten years I’ll have a lot on next year anyway.”
And by “a lot on”, Walsh is referring to an attempt to manage Shane Filan’s solo career post Westlife…that should keep him very busy indeed.
Oi Louis – how about a spot on The Voice? Danny is sure to be booted out before long and they will need another token Irish judge.
But there is little chance of Louis joining The Voice as a coach if he finds himself short of work.
“No way. It’s not great TV”, he told someone else. “It’s like Fame Academy all those years ago. The best thing about it is the revolving chairs.
“I hate The Voice“, he continued exercising visible restraint. “I think everyone thought The Voice UK would be like the US version, and it’s not. It’s dull and boring.”
If you’re reading this lowly internet blog Mr Cowell, we implore you not to deprive us of Louis next year. The world would never have seen such game-changing acts as Jedward or Wagner were it not for his unfailing belief in misguided ambition.
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Brit Hits A Bum Note In First X Factor Outing
Fighting tooth and nail: Britney
After being paid a sum which could seriously help out those poverty-stricken Greeks (15million big ones), Britney Spears may not be turning out as such a great X Factor USA investment after all.
Just a few hours into her first day on the X-beat, the pop princess was visibly struggling with critics pointing out her shoddy appearance and diva-ish demands.
Appearing at a press announcement in New York (see vid below), Brit’s unflattering minidress was said to be “stained with lipstick”. It seems her nerves had also got the better of her, with bloody fingernails and unkempt cuticles betraying an anxious habit.
Perhaps her awkward previous appearances on the talent search show – which featured lacklustre banter and below par styling – have unnerved the Oops I Did It Again singer?
But boss Cowell is confident that his investment will reap the 20 million viewers he has boasted will flock to this year’s super-series. He has said that he is “not at all” worried about Spears appearing on the panel and has refuted any claim that she will have her gags written for her.
Britney seemed dead excited about her new job, however, saying (or should that be reading) : “I couldn’t be more excited to join the X Factor judging panel. I am a huge fan of the show and now I get to be a part of the action.
“Simon and LA better watch out!”
Criticism has also been aimed at the star for her diva-ish behaviour off-set, with dressing room negotiations reportedly reaching a “point of disgust” and demands to be seated alongside Cowell when the show kicks off later this year.
The X Factor crew have vigorously denied claims that Britney has been anything less than a lady about the whole deal and said that anything to the contrary is “total utter malicious rubbish”.
Poor Britters, who has suffered at the hands of drink and drug abuse scandal over recent years after shooting to fame in her teens, is apprently hoping that the whole SiCo experience will drag her back down to earth.
A source close to Britney said: “Five years ago Britney was like a zombie. She had some really bad influences in her life.
“It has been a slow recovery but she is getting there. She has got the balance back and we hope The X Factor will give her the structure and discipline she needs.”
If previous years of the X Factor are anything to go by, we suggest keeping in touch with your doc. babe.
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“BGT Favourite Jonathan To Be Bigger Than SuBo” ..Cowell Gets Excited
Pudsey may be the most popular dog in the country right now, but as this evening’s Britain’s Got Talent final approaches, Simon Cowell has decided who his favourite to win this year’s title is.
Well we say that, but in reality we doubt he’s bothered because he’ll sign Jonathan Antoine and (begrudgingly) his singing partner Charlotte Jaconelli whatever the result tonight and privately, he hopes the couple can be bigger in the US than BGT’s most successful alumni, Susan Boyle.
“This time last year Simon was faced with the not-particularly exciting prospect of having to sell Jai McDowall records. He was in a funk. But this year his excitement levels are off the scale,” a friend of Cowell told The Sun.
“He’s watched as Jonathan and Charlotte have taken the country by storm. He knows that opera is a big seller, especially if people like the person singing it.”
Cowell will reportedly offer the pair a £1 million record deal with his music company SyCo next week. Meanwhile, Sony boss Rob Stringer is flying in from America to watch 17 year-old Jonathan and his 16 year-old partner perform tonight with a view to signing them up to Columbia Records.
The deal will mean that Cowell sells the pair’s records in the UK while getting a large slice of the American sales and with studio time booked for the week after next, an album could be on the way before Christmas. Crucially, sources explained that all deals were for both Jonathan and Charlotte.
Meanwhile bookies have admitted that it would be “one of the biggest shocks in TV talent show history” if the pair didn’t win and a vast amount of cash has been staked on Antoine and Jaconelli. Yet despite his confidence, Cowell seems to be wary of publicly comparing them to Subo.
“I think they’ve got a big, big chance of selling records all over the world,” he admitted. “They’re amazing singers. I’m particularly impressed with how Charlotte has improved. I’m not sure anything will ever be as big as Susan but I certainly believe an American audience will like them both.”
He also claimed that second favourite Pudsey could “become a worldwide star — maybe our biggest star yet.”
So who’s this Jai McDowall bloke then?
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“Thank God It’s Not A Bank Holiday” Prince Charles Reads The Weather
When videos of weather reports make it on to YouTube, it’s because some weatherman has accidentally sworn at the public, but this little video shouldn’t end with anyone getting fired.. apart from the person who inserted Balmoral into the script of course.
Yes folks, BBC viewers in Scotland were treated to the sight of our future King doing the weather this morning. He was visiting BBC Scotland to help them celebrate 60 years of broadcasting..
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Britney Spears Signs A Pact With The Devil (aka Simon Cowell)
Simon's kinda gal
Serial celeb-groomer Simon Cowell has now plied his latest victim – Britney Spears – with enough money and sweet nothings to secure her for The X Factor USA.
The contract has been signed (presumably in blood) and the Womanizer singer is now confirmed to appear alongside Cowell and L.A. Reid when the series begins later this year.
According to reports by E! Online, we’re talking $15million (£9.3m) for a few month’s work.
A super-secret inside source has said: “The contract is signed. There’s been a lot of back and forth over the past few weeks as they negotiated the small details, but she’s on. It’s all completed and Britney is beyond excited.
“She’s ready for this. She can’t wait to sit down next to Simon at the judges’ table and give this everything she’s got.
There is no official confirmation from either Britters or X Factor USA as yet, but this source seems dead excited: “[Britney] is excited about showing the world that she can do this, and do this well. This is the perfect next stage in her career.
“Both Britney and Simon are very excited to work together”, the source added.
Having booted off two of his previous judges, there is still one gaping hole left on the panel. Katy Perry, Demi Lovato and Chaka Khan have all been put forward but we suppose it depends on who made it to Simon’s hotel suite first…
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“There’s Enough Differences” Says Miller Of American Sherlock
News of an American drama which modernised the various adventures of Sherlock Holmes was met with trepidation (to say the least) by the BBC, Steven Moffat & Co earlier this year, but the show’s star Jonny Lee Miller has insisted that it is not a copy of the one which stars Benedict C*mberbatch.
The pilot for CBS’s Elementary has just finished shooting and when asked about possible similarities, Miller had this to say from himself.
“Yeah, obviously you look at it and say, “Wait a second … ” But I feel there’s enough differences there. I thought I could do something with it; otherwise, there’d be no point.”
Miller will star alongside Lucy Liu, who plays a female Doctor Watson to his Sherlock Holmes, in the drama which is currently awaiting the green light for a full series.
“We’re still waiting to hear what happens with it. We’re not sure yet; we’re taking it slowly,” Miller told Vulture. “But it was just a great project. And a good opportunity for me. So that’s the way you weigh those things.”
Sherlock’s executive producer (and wife of Moffat) Sue Vertue has previously spoken of her concerns when she heard of an American version..
“CBS approached us a while back about remaking our show,” she told The Independent. “At the time, they made great assurances about their integrity, so we have to assume that their modernised Sherlock Holmes doesn’t resemble ours in any way, as that would be extremely worrying. We are very proud of our show and like any proud parent, will protect the interest and wellbeing of our offspring.”
HOW DID SHERLOCK CHEAT DEATH? THE 10 BEST THEORIES..
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ITV Revenues Up 13% Thanks To…Titanic?!
The Fellowes' drama sure did BUOY ITV1 revenues...
Britain may not have fallen for Julian Fellowes’ class-obsessed Titanic, but apparently international demand for the series has helped boost ITV revenues by 13%.
The drama has now been bought up by almost 100 countries, helping ITV Studios to rake in around £565mn in the first quarter of the year.
The staggering figure improved by almost two-thirds compared to this time last year, with analysts pointing towards earlier-than-expected broadcasting for many shows and strong international demand for shows. Prime Suspect and Jeremy Kyle have also been prime British exports in 2012.
Despite the positive studio production and demand figures, advertising revenue for the broadcaster took a surprise dip. Audience share (obviously key in determining advertising rates) fell 2% in Q1, resulting in a 1% reduction in income.
Top dog at the channel, Adam Crozier, is not fazed. Far from it! He remains upbeat about the channel’s potential over the coming months given the impending football fest and remaining Britain’s Got Talent shows. The Euro 2012 football championships should see ad. revenues up by as much as 17%, spring boarded by an expected 6% rise this month thanks to BGT.
“We expect to outperform the TV ad market in the first half and for the year as a whole,” Mr Crozier said, adding that a “strong autumn lineup” would also help to boost revenues by 3% later in the year.
If Crozier is right, then shareholders will be chuffed with his progress with the much-touted “Transformation Plan”. The strategy, intended for “growing and rebalancing the business”, will be on track in year three of five if it makes its end-of-year forecasts.
ITV’s share price has nearly tripled since Mr C took over, and the company has moved from making a regular loss into profit. Aside from share prices? The other advantage of all this extra cash is that we, the humble viewer, should be afforded some finer viewing experiences…let’s hope all that cash doesn’t end up in any deep pockets.
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Lovable Rogues In BGT Fix Storm
Everyone knows that it’s not a proper series of BGT if a nice FFIIIIXXX! news story doesn’t crop up at one point and this year’s has finally arrived. And not before time..
If The Sun is to be believed*, then the act that has been hand-picked to reach the final and win the competition by Darth Cowell is Lovable Rogues, the popular musical trio who won the semi-final on Tuesday night and were subsequently snapped after scoffing a bit too much whisky at some launch event.
Apparently the group were fast-tracked through the audition process after the show’s talent scouts spotted them on YouTube.
“Yes, we did get approached,” said one of the band, while another added. “The audition in front of the judges was the first we’d done.”
Cowell praised them to the rafters on Tuesday night and it seems he will sign them no matter whether they win the final on Saturday, but a BGT spokesperson refused to be drawn on the situation last night.
“We let people know about auditions in lots of ways,” they murmured. “All acts are auditioned on their merits.”
*Yeah we know..
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BBC hope Call The Midwife Christmas Special can beat Downton Abbey
The BBC have announced plans for a Christmas episode of hit drama Call The Midwife in a bid to win the festive ratings war with ITV after Downton Abbey outperformed EastEnders last year.
The show about a group of midwives in 1950s London will be returning for a second series next year after becoming the most successful debut series in BBC1′s history and the Beeb are keen to use its popularity to counter the might of Julian Fellowes’ period show on Christmas Day.
EastEnders attracted more viewers after the overnight figures were calculated in Christmas 2011, but the Downton Abbey Christmas Special scorched ahead when Catch-up services were taken into account. The final figures saw the BBC soap attracting 11.3 million people and the ITV drama getting 11.6 million, knocking EastEnders off the top for the first time in a couple of years.
Details about the Call The Midwife Christmas Special are thin on the ground, but the Beeb have confirmed that it will be written by by Heidi Thomas and will star all its series one cast.
Executive producer Pippa Harris said: “As the nights draw in and Christmas approaches, the residents of Nonnatus House pull together to celebrate the season in their own very special way.
“Christmas celebrates one particular birth, and so it’s especially fitting for BBC1 to pay a visit to these much loved characters, whose daily lives revolve around the joys and tribulations of childbirth.”
Call The Midwife Inspires a new generation of ..ermm.. Midwives.
