15 Lines That Weren’t in ‘The Matrix’

October 11, 2012 by  
Filed under Features

The Architect: “Of course the first Matrix was just a man with a bit of shiny cloth shouting “all this is a dream, a dreeeaaaaammmmm!??

Trinity: “You know what Neo; I think I’ll just wear my trackies tonight?

The Architect: “You are the sixth anomaly. In a hundred years, the Matrix will have to be reloaded again. Have you saved all of your documents??

Tank: “Oh, for fuck’s sake, we’ve all got our monitors sideways….?

Captain Lock: “Of course, Zion has its bad points, but being this close to the centre of the earth, the gravity’s incredibly low and we just bounce everywhere….?

Morpheus: “You are Neo. Your name is anagram of One, so we believe you are The One. This is also the reason we believe Agent Smith is a Shit Magnet, or possibly a Shag Mitten, and The Oracle is a Rectal Hoe….?

Machine #1 to Machine #2: “Mate the battery life on this human is so shit.? “Try turning the brightness down…?

Morpheus: “You take the red pill you stay in wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes, take the blue pill and you could grow your penis by 3 inches in two weeks. Penile Surgeons hate me!?

Neo: “I know a rose by any other name and all that bollocks, but from now on, shall we just trust people with names like Trinity, and kill people called Bane or Cipher? Jeez, am I the only one with a classical education round here??

Trinity to Tank: “Operator, quick get us out of here!?…. “Your call is important to us…?

Neo’s Mum: “Get off the internet Thomas, your Father wants to make a phone call!?

Agent Smith to Neo: “Mr Anderson?? “My name…is Neo!? “Oh sorry, wrong number?

Zion Engineer: “So you’ve got one ship called The Hammer and another called Mjolnir….shit is gonna get confusing for the Old Norse translation?

Neo, on his computer: “Who is the White Rabbit, what is The Matrix, what does this all mean? Wait, what’s this? Single girls in my area! And they want to chat!?

Morpheus to Neo: “Stop trying to hit me and hit me! Okay, now stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself…?