“Machiavellian Stephen Can Win” ..Says Sugar’s Latest Firee

April 25, 2012 by  
Filed under Features

“Six paand?! They don’t spend that on a striker up there!” scoffed Lord Sugar when he heard how much Katie Wright and her team-mates were charging Scottish football fans for some gourmet* street food. It’s a good job no-one told him about their laughable plan to increase the price to an eye-watering £8. He looks like an angry Ferrero Roche at the best of times. Adam, who’d had a shocker as team-leader, hit the nail on the head with his assessment.. “We’d get our heads kicked in!” he told them. Eight quid for meatballs at a football match?! What the hell was Katie thinking?

“Looking back it seems foolish,” she said when we asked her if she was bloody mental this afternoon. “I naively thought that because we had such a large footfall at the football, we were going to sell out within and hour and have an afternoon off in Edinburgh. Laughable now, but that was genuinely what we thought.”

Dream on love.

But while she may have over-estimated the amount of money Hearts fans (or any sane collection of humans) were willing to pay for sub-standard take-away food, Katie was bright enough to realise that she and Adam had been stitched up by gobby cockerney, Stephen Brady. We reckon he’d be a great addition to the Moon clan on EastEnders and he also has a penchant for back-stabbing that would see him go far in soapland. He’d end up getting himself murdered in a Christmas episode, but for a year or so, he’d create carnage. Anyway, we digress..

“Adam should have been fired,” explained Katie. “He didn’t really understand the task and he was letting Steve make the decisions for him. That’s something I’ve noticed looking back at it. Steve is very Machiavellian and the thing about being Machiavellian is that people don’t realise that you’re doing it at the time.”

“But in retrospect, he played a good game. He would always make sure he was sat next to the project manager so he couldn’t be blamed for anything and he’s very quick to turn on people in the boardroom. He was the biggest game-player on the series.”

You have to take your hat off to him. In the boardroom he gave Adam a battering (blaming him for the pricing, but leaving out the fact that he’d had no objections when Katie had suggested upping the retail price of the meatballs to £8. £8!!!) but then persuading his leader to call Azar and Katie back to the boardroom. It was a bit with Jafar’s staff in Aladdin.

“I’m very honest, which was my downfall” continued Katie modestly. “In the first week I came back to the house and was like ‘Don’t worry guys, Lord Sugar’s gunning for me, if we lose take me back to the boardroom.’ Just like a real fool!”

“The reason Stephen lost his temper in the boardroom was because he knew he was at risk. He was the project manager of the sub team, which made the decision about the football and the branding, so realistically he should have been brought back to the boardroom, but he overcame that by pointing the finger at Azar, which is why Azar called him a liar..”

I was fighting an uphill battle from week one and I think Lord Sugar was sick and tired of seeing my face. But Stephen’s good at playing the game, so I think he’ll go far in the series. You have to remember, Lord Sugar only sees what goes on in the boardroom.”

*crap