England vs Algeria (Some Concerns…)
ENGLAND vs ALGERIA: Friday 18th June, ITV1, 6.30pm ALERT ME
After England kicked-off another tragic bid for World Cup glory with a demeaning draw against an apathetic America, there are some important points we are considering ahead of the team’s most important match since 2006:
1. Firstly, why is everyone giving Emile Heskey such a hard-time? The striker managed to kick the ball straight into the US goalkeeper’s hands with astonishing accuracy. The feat was even more impressive when you consider that he had to achieve this from much further than usual on account of his inability to break out of a jog.
2. Who is to blame for Clint Dempsey’s equaliser? England coach Fabio Capello has blamed the new ball, the pitch, aliens, the CIA, Heather Mills, BP and even Clint Dempsey himself for Robert Green’s cr*pness. Call us footballing half-wits but we thought it might have been the goalkeeper’s fault, we’re clearly mistaken because apparently the West Ham player is due to start again on Friday!
3. Why is Ledley King allowed to muck about in the hotel pool, while all the other players leg it about the training pitch? This is one of the most flagrant examples of favouritism we have ever seen in the work-place – and we’ve worked in the public sector. If Mr King spent a bit more time doing shuttle runs and a little less time on the ring flume, then maybe he wouldn’t be so ‘unfit’ all the time.
4. Who is Stephen Warnock?
5. After nearly a decade of reading about how Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard must not occupy the same area of the field (lest the universe implode) we were amazed to see them playing dangerously close to each other on Saturday night. Is this wise Mr Capello? We are hoping that Gareth Barry can keep them apart tonight..