Come Dine With Me Wags Special: It’s Coming Home…

June 9, 2010 by  
Filed under - Home, Reviews

COME DINE WITH ME WAGS SPECIAL: Wednesday 9th June, Channel 4, 8pm ALERT ME

It’s a hard life being a WAG isn’t it? I mean, there’s the endless shopping, pampering and gaudy, designer label crap to buy. Sometimes you might even need to untie your own Christian Louboutin shoes. Nightmare.

The cooking on Come Dine With Me probably represents more work than they’ve ever done in their short lifetimes. The format’s the same as it ever was: four participants each host a dinner party and the other three mark them out of ten on the food and presentation and how much fun they’ve had.

There’s a £1000 prize for charity up for grabs which seems a bit trivial when you remember that they probably spend more a week on nail polish.

The WAGs in question are Jude Cisse (wife of podiatrist’s nightmare and premier league footballer Djibril Cisse), Chantelle Taego (wife of lumbering human speed bump Emile Heskey), Jessica Lawlor (wife of baldy Irish international Stephen Ireland) and Page 3 model, BB Contestant and walking lobotomy Nicola T (wife of 2nd division footballer Simon Walton).

It’s a perfect opportunity to address the popular misconceptions about Wags – namely that they’re clueless, shallow trophy wives who wouldn’t know their arses from their collective elbows.

It gets off to a good start, with Jude calmly saying that she knows the difference between things she wants and things she needs. But it goes rapidly downhill when Jess pronounces “Thai food? as “Thigh food?, Chantelle can’t explain who Martin Luther King is despite having a three-foot portrait of him in her dining room and Nicola T comes out with the line of the evening, “I’ve never eaten syphilis before?. It’s truly mind-boggling stuff.

Saying that, even though Nicola T might be thicker than two short planks (if the planks are very thick) she’s actually a pretty good cook, turning out a decent and creative roast dinner. Stupid she may be, but she has no pretensions to intellectuality and she says what she sees.

Initially favourable opinions of Jude are completely misplaced as she turns out to be bitchy and patronising and even has the effrontery to call Nicola T “fragile?. She’s many things, but fragile isn’t one of them.

It’s a show that does nothing to dispel myths about WAGs, but if we’re being honest here, would you really tune in to watch that? As it stands it’s a good excuse to watch high-heeled muppets strut around opulent mansions and snipe at each other. It could only be improved with a fight.