Peter Andre Declares Love For Katona

May 11, 2010 by  
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Peter Andre has emotionally progressed from being entranced by the mentally stunted to the mentally ill by declaring that he “loves? Kerry Katona – part-time coke addict and full time untalented pop-culture personality.

Re-emerging from his shattered state having recently undergone divorce proceedings with his estranged ex-cleavage he praised Kerry on the one hand whilst trashing Jordan with the other. Writing in his new! Column he said of Katona: “I am so impressed with the way she is turning her life around, as it can’t be easy for her.”

Feeling the need to release some well aimed venom he goes on to comment on Jordan’s recent decision to sell their mementos on eBay: “”As you may or may not have heard, my ex-wife took it upon herself to sell old family pictures of ours on eBay last week.”

Andre went on to say: “I am dealing with this matter privately and don’t want to say too much, but I will admit that I wasn’t exactly delighted when I found out about it!”

Perhaps the worst judge of character since Neville Chamberlain deemed Hitler uninterested in war, Andre seems to have been caught off guard by his ex’s malice which many have come to see as an innate character trope. Will Katandre escalate into a whirlwind romance? No-one cares.