Bear Grylls Born Survivor Review: Crafty Raft

May 1, 2010 by  
Filed under - Home, Reviews

BEAR GRYLLS BORN SURVIVOR: Monday 3rd May, Discovery Channel, 9pm ALERT ME

Notable wild-animal gobbler Bear Grylls is back for a new series and it’s almost as if he’s never been away. Apparently the fourth season of Born Survivor will be more impressive than anything the UK’s Chief Scout has managed before – a bold claim when we remember that he spent a good part of series three eating s**t.

Over the coming weeks we will be seeing Mr Grylls visit the wastes of China, survive in a post-apocolyptic city-scape and escape an active volcano (he is nothing if not topical). But in tonight’s opening episode, the coffin-dodger has been dropped on a small island in the Pacific and must find a way back to the mainland of Panama! Not a small challenge even by his standards I think you’ll agree.

Before he starts building his raft, Grylls begins to gather the resources that will mean “the difference between life and death” ™. The fact that all this is quite similar to the stuff which has come before is utterly irrelevant. Watching this nutter ingeniusly gather water and catch his dinner never gets old. Indeed he makes it all look so elementary that you foolishly start to believe anyone could get the hang of this survival malarchy.

After a night and a day trying to signal for help, Bear gets fed up with his solitude and makes a break for it on his raft. This is where it gets really interesting and anyone who has seen Cast Away will feel for our intrepid explorer. Unfortunately for Grylls, before long all he is left with is water that has been contaminated by bird droppings, he’s screwed right? Wrong, because Bear knows that humans are capable of absorbing fluid through their colon. That’s right – he gives himself an enema.

Surely Bear Grylls will one day just give up the pretence and join Jackass, but until then, it’s great watching him half kill himself for our entertainment.

TheDude says:

It is worth mentioning that two men are dead after attempting to simulate what Grylls pretends to do on his show- yosemitenews.info/forum/read.php?1,24686,24748

Maybe it’s time to get this guy off the air before anyone else gets killed.

Backcountry says:

OMG! You do understand that the show is completely setup and staged right? Here’s a behind the scenes video from Discovery.com- dsc.discovery.com/videos/man-vs-wild-behind-the-scenes-hanging-in-panama.html I think it’s safe to say that the dozen or so guys standing around do the vast majority of the “resource gathering? and the director yelling “ACTION? sums up pretty well Bears true experience while filming his little farce. Watch the Belize episode, he’s walking along through the jungle giving a diatribe about all of the deadly snakes found there and then right at that moment, just by pure coincidence, he comes across a giant Boa- riiiiiiight. Catching his diner really isn’t all that hard when the crew drops it out of a box at his feet. I can’t believe there is anyone who still believes that he is actually out in the wild “surviving?. Unless of course you think surviving is having a support battalion to do all of the hard work and bring you back to base camp at the end of each day. If that is survival then Bear Grylls certainly is an expert. LOL