EastEnders Live: Whodunnit?
EASTENDERS: Friday 19th February, BBC1, 8pm ALERT ME
It has been a staggering 56 days since Archie Mitchell was unceremoniously killed in the Queen Vic. Yes, justice moves slowly in Walford.
To be honest, it’s quite fortunate that the long and over-worked arm of the law functions at all in Walford. The London borough boasts a jaw-dropping murder rate of 22%, a statistic which surely only Johannesberg and the village of Midsomer can rival.
Yet even by the Hobbesian standards to which EastEnders writers conform, Archie’s time in the most dangerous job Albert Square has to offer was pretty short-lived. The ink had barely dried on the contract when some irony-addled strumpet cracked him over the head with his own bust.
But at last time is up for the mysterious assassin, as tonight EastEnders celebrates it’s 25th anniversary with a special live episode streamed straight from Elstree studios directly to your tellyboxes.
Apparently the cast only received their scripts last Monday so they have had less than two weeks to learn the dialogue. But this sounds less impressive when you remember that most of the characters have less lines in an average episode than Arnie had in the original Terminator.
As such, the gossip columns have been stuffed with mini interviews in which the actors bluster about how difficult it will be, how worried they are, but also how they’re sure it will be fine on the night. It reminds us of the annoying class boffin who asked for extra paper after 30 minutes of every GCSE exam and then strutted off claiming they “didn’t get a thing right”.