Last Woman Standing Review: Brazil Nuts

February 9, 2010 by  
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2lastwoman300LAST WOMAN STANDING: Tuesday 9th February, BBC3, 9pm ALERT ME

Take five British female sports fanatics, a scantily-clad tribe in Brazil, put them together and watch them wrestle until there’s only one woman standing. What do you get? An original programme without much point.

Participating in what they call ‘a challenge of a lifetime’ all five women are masters in their chosen field: boxing champion Lesley; wake boarder Anna; fitness guru Alex; rugby player Joanie and endurance athlete Natalie.

None seem to care that they’re about to ‘go through hell’ – to be fair, when you see the women of Mato Grosso who will put the girls through ‘bloody initiation rituals’, ‘back-breaking work’ and ‘brutal training’ you wonder if they’d be better off in the back room of Argos.

The whole thing looks like a tribal version of Shipwrecked – yes, everyone is mostly naked underneath a baking sun but instead of copping off and sunbathing, for one week only, the women ‘knock the seven bells out of each other’ for a laugh. Well, not everyone has an Xbox.

Our Brits are off to battle a group so fearsome that neighbouring tribes avoid them at all costs, presumably for the sake of good TV. During training two girls stay with ‘Pow Pow’ in his hut – along with his three wives, seven daughters and 25 grandkids. This leads to inane remarks such as, ‘We’re a million miles away from anything we’ve ever been used to’ and ‘It’s really hot.?

Day two, and Mapalou (three times champion of this event) shows them how it’s done. Much leg-grabbing, back-pressing and body-slamming is on the menu and the girls lap it up. Granted the wake-boarder has trouble but overall it looks like they might actually have a chance of winning. Or losing a limb.

The latter almost happens when the girls wake up to a bit of leg scraping – the more they bleed the better fighters they make, the strongest warriors showing no pain. Needless to say one of them passes out.

Fight day finally arrives and the girls compete against the village champions to become the last woman standing. What this actually means is anyone’s guess as Leslie’s body-slam denotes the start of a downward spiral of defeat. Let’s face it; five days training was never going to be enough.

Just when you think it’s all over an ad comes on for next week’s episode presenting one of the most feared tribes in the whole of Brazil. One thing is guaranteed – it’s going to be painful.

Debbie says: