Hollyoaks Cast Fear The Chop

January 25, 2010 by  
Filed under - Home, News

hollyoaksThe homogeneous blonde, plastic cast of Channel 4 soap Hollyoaks a.k.a ‘Dollyoaks’ are fearing for their jobs following the appointment of new producer Paul Marquess, a report has claimed.

According to the Daily Star, the show’s team have since been bracing themselves for a massive overhaul as Marquess has a reputation for instigating cast clear-outs following his past work on The Bill and Family Affairs.

A source said: “Paul is known for having the balls to make serious changes to the cast if he thinks things need a good shake-up. Everyone is expecting a mass cull.”

The insider added: “Things do need a bit of a shake-up. Like any soap, you need to keep things fresh. If that means out with the old and in with the new, then so be it.”

Does this mean less modelesque people with questionable acting skills and more realistic and intellectual types? We doubt it.

Ms Chandler says:

See, this is what I don’t understand about the UK TV industry- why they still support him. In the beginning, it was only David Liddiment who seemed to have faith in him- because they had worked together. Marquess doesn’t HAVE talent. Talent is being able to work with what you have. All this proves is how damn corrupt the UK system actually is. Maybe we don’t have much drama Australia, but we haven’t sold our soul.

Soaps ARE a little different- they’re more transient dramas, with transparent characters and no acting required- but there are still large groups of people who spend their lives tied to these programs. All hiring Marquess says about the Hollyoaks production company is that they’re heartless brainless spineless slaves to money. All Marquess’ work says is he’s too selfish, and so far up his own arse that being able to identify with established characters- and treat them as human beings- and do a skerick of research into them- is too damn hard. That is why he is bad at his job.