Celebrity Shock List 2009: Tragic Moments
CELEBRITY SHOCK LIST 2009: Tuesday 29th December, FIVE, 9pm ALERT ME
Remember the glamorous stars of yester-year, how boring were they? You’d never read about Judy Garland’s ‘crazy antics’ in St Lucia, or Clark Gable’s fashion faux pas as he nipped out for a pint of milk.
Luckily that’s all changed with the outburst of reality TV, The WAG and Kerry Katona (although mystery star deaths live on). The media would assume the public is itching to know who’s put on the latest pound or punched a swan (after a tough week-long stint at The Priory). With the celebrity world turning more bonkers by the second, how are we meant to keep up?
Thank god for FIVE’s Celebrity Shock List, then, which keeps us in check. At two hours long it is probably long enough to make you feel normal/ fancy a spell in rehab. The least you’ll do is point and laugh. Which, I assume, is the point of these things (I am never quite sure).
‘Shocking’ tabloid favourites Katie Price and Amy Winehouse get the ball rolling, presumably shown falling out of clubs and shouting obscenities to old ladies for a laugh. Kerry Katona is thrown into the mix what with the husband from hell, yo-yo diets and Brian McFadden (or is he totally out the window?) to name but a few. My personal favourite is ‘Kerry Katona Goes Shopping’, a regular headline in Heat magazine. Shocking!
But not everyone’s a train wreck. Some are reformed disaster zones, such as SuBo’s overnight transformation (that sent her so cuckoo you wished she was just plain ol’ Susan Boyle dressed in a pair of curtains after all) and the rebirth of Jedward as funny as opposed to annoying. This is all too shocking. I need to lie down.
But there’s no time for that, as we relive the controversial firing of Strictly Come Dancing’s Arlene Phillips and Anton Du Beke’s ill-received remark to Laila Rouass. Both of which were shocking for around a day (but what a day – I know).
Other famous faces to spot include Lady GaGa, David Beckham, Ronaldo (those hot pants were quite shocking) and Salma Hyek (I thought she was one of the normal ones.. I’m beginning to lose the thread a bit).
If you want to see people off the telly making fools of themselves, watch this. If you’re looking for an enriching documentary about the lives of beautiful film stars, you may have to go back to 1936. Those days are long gone. All hail channel 5 and your shocking highlight shows. Where would we be without you.