Soap Awards – Lucas The Serial Killer!
We’re no experts on the subject, but we think its fair to say that the scrawny nutter has now officially become a serial-killer. He may have claimed to be heading to the Lake District on his honeymoon, but we reckon the gardening-ripper is really off to Midsomer village, armed to the teeth with trowels.
Poor Owen was the latest person to feel the horticultural hand of Loopy Lucas this week. Indeed the fallen preacher has become so confident in his villainy that he’s taken to hiding evidence in ever more daring places.
If we committed a murder in Walford we’d go to a bit more trouble than burying the body in the park (how in the name of Pat’s dangly earrings did no-one see him?) before planting a forlorn tree on top of the make-shift grave.
That probably won’t get discovered…
Having said that, w£ all know what Charity r£ally care$ about.
Cain, who just days before had declared his love for the ironically named trollop, was surprisingly fast off the mark for a member of the Dingle family and made chase in a bid to keep his beloved (cash).
Caught red-handed in the safe, Charity claimed she was putting the money back.
Oh and the dog ate her homework…
When any half-good looking bloke arrives in tahn, it’s only a matter of time before the beauty-starved birds of Walford start to flock.
We had just about recovered from Janine Butcher’s corset when our eyes were raped by the image of Roxy Mitchell’s lurid attempt to bed Doctor Jenkins…
We don’t even care that families don’t look remotely like each other – Syed Masood? – all we ask is that they at least get someone in the right age range to play these people.
So Audrey is Gail’s mum? Sister more like! She must have been the first person in recorded history to have a child before she started school…
Woolpack chef Marlon Dingle hasn’t really had much luck with the ladies since his adulterous wife Donna left him, but that isn’t surprising when you consider that nearly every woman in the village is related to him.
So when he mistook the attentions of married Moira for something more than friendship, it was always going to end in tears.
But he still chased her, (run Moira run!) The poor bloke needs to invest in a mirror and a course of heavy-duty anti-depressants..
But maybe it was a good thing that Chelsea fethched her mum a slap across the chops, she has been getting right on our Queen Vics of late.
And she hasn’t even worked out that her new hubby is a rake-murderer yet…
“I can’t always tell when Chelsea is lying – but I can tell when she’s telling the truth.”
Denise proves what a good judge of character she is. Not.