The Dog Whisperer Review: All Bark…

THE DOG WHISPERER: Friday 13th November, Nat Geo Wild, 7pm

When I was growing up, we owned an out-of-control dog called Monty.

One of the more mortifying episodes of my childhood occurred when a friend came round for tea and Monty vigorously dry-humped her leg. When I dragged him off, he bit my arm – I still bear the scars today.

Alas poor misunderstood Monty is no longer with us, but if he was I’d definitely be glued to The Dog Whisperer.

I understand that in doggy-owner circles, this American programme is discussed in revered tones, and it’s easy to see why. The star is Cesar Millen, a man who probably could stop a rabid Doberman tearing the face off a small child at 100 paces. No hound is too harrassed, no pooch too psychologically disturbed, not to be turned into a tail-wagging bundle of furry love by the credit roll. This Supernanny of the canine world even has his own magazine, a feat normally reserved for the likes of Oprah.

Today’s despairing owner is seasoned rocker Matt Sorum, the drummer from Velvet Revolver and Guns N’ Roses, and his partner Ace. The couple have a French bulldog, Miles, who’s ’sweet and fun-loving 85% of the time’. Unfortunately the other 15% he spends attacking any other dog that crosses his path, and pawing manically at house guests. Cesar eventually cures Miles, but his methodology seems slightly opaque. As far as I can tell, it’s part the owners exuding ‘the right kind of energy’, part simply Cesar’s hypnotic presence.

When it comes down to it, though, Miles is all bark and no bite. That can’t be said for Maxi, a pitbull belonging to wheelchair-bound Jaime. Maxi’s been blacklisted from a charity where sick children are visited by dogs. The reason? She got in a fight with Jaime’s sister’s Bichon Frise, a ball of white fluff that ‘didn’t make it’.

Crikey, I didn’t expect the Dog Whisperer to be quite this harrowing.

Luckily there’s a happy ending: Maxi is accepted into another scheme helping disadvantaged teenagers train dogs; Jaime shows them how it’s done.

If you have a four-legged friend, I’ve no doubt The Dog Whisperer is riveting. Millions of fans obviously think so. If not, you might find it a teensy bit on the long side. I must confess, on the evidence here, I won’t be buying that puppy I wanted just yet.


Cheryl Freedman