Axe Men Season 2 Review: Lame-Brain Loggers

November 13, 2009 by  
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4AXE MEN: Friday 13th November, Five, 8pm Alert Me

Lumberjacks are like mutant superheroes.

They brave razor-sharp chainsaws, icy rivers and swinging 180-feet hooked line.

Thrill-seekers, adrenaline junkies and all-around crazies, they are the Axe Men (cue melodramatic symphonic score).

The non-fiction series Axe Men tracks competing American logging crews as they chain-saw and haul their way through the jungle of the Pacific Northwest. But the stakes are higher for the Axe Men this time around. After last year’s housing market crash and the devastating storm, the competing companies must step it up.

Felling far more ground, and scouting sky and sea, the new season adds three newcomers to the competition. On top of Oregon’s J.M Browning and Pihl Logging from season one, we follow Washington ’s Rygaard and S&S Aqua Logging, and Montana’s R&R Conner Aviation. That means helicopters and wet suits.

The highlight of Axe Men are its real-life characters. Dwayne Dethlefs, a 30-year logger with a full red beard and a goofy smile, points to a ditch and mutters: “Good place to put a body in that hole on the other side of that stump.” Creepy. At least the owner of S&S Aqua Logging admits, “My dad had an 8th-grade education and he is twice as smart as I am.” Completely mindless, yet entertaining.

The Logging is not for the faint-hearted. Browning, whose company holds the track record, producing 15-to-20,000 logs a day, takes out his deformed hand and retells the hook accident in a matter-of-fact tone: “Everything came out–ligaments, tendons. It looked like spaghetti.” Excuse us while we throw-up a little in our mouths.

It is the perfect case of schadenfreude. You know, the whole “finding pleasure in other people’s pain”? It is just too much fun watching these dimwits manage heavy machinery in the middle of a forest. One can only anticipate what this season will bring.

Danielle Jacoby