River Monsters Review: Fin Dining
RIVER MONSTERS: Thursday 12th November, ITV, 7.30pm ALERT ME
After you hear about a catfish that can swim into a bloke’s penis while he’s whizzing in the river, you start to think that Piranhas might not be worst thing to live in the waters of South America.
We would still think twice before getting our rubber ring out though – but Jeremy Wade is not only a very brave television presenter, he’s an extreme angler who finds the deadliest fish on the planet and joins them for a spot of backstroke.
Steve Irwin would have been proud…
In this latest episode of his series, the crazy fisherman travels to the Amazon to find out what makes these homicidal river dwellers so deadly, before asking whether their fearsome reputation is justified.
The eventual answer to the second question is: Yes – they’re mental fish murders that eat quicker than Rik Waller after a couple of joints.
Next we’ll be hearing that a nature crew has set-off for the forest to find out if Bears really do s**t in the woods…
Maybe that’s a bit cynical, because as Jeremy proves when he takes a dip in a Piranha pool, certain conditions have to be present for a feeding-frenzy to take place, as they were in 1976 when a bus that drove into the river was hauled out a couple of hours later with a dozen skeletons inside it.
In his interesting quest to explain the behaviour of these famous tourist gobblers, Wade visits several people with horror stories to tell, including one family who tragically lost a young boy after he fell in the river by their house.
His enthusiasm makes River Monsters a decent nature show and there are plenty of grisly anecdotes for macabre-lovers out there.
We even get to see Wade dip a dead duck into a shoal of Piranha and watch it disappear quicker than a plate of cookies in Woody Harrelson’s dressing-room – now that’s what we call the munchies.