One Way Out- Bee Stung Brit Review: Bee Calm For Science

November 30, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, Reviews

3.5Bees300One Way Out: Bee Stung Brit: Monday 30th November, Discovery Channel, 10pm ALERT ME

If there’s one thing we never get sick of, it’s watching people hurt themselves.

That certainly accounts for the popularity of I’m A Celebrity (Celebrities hurting themselves? Double win) and the massive success of schadenfreudian scheduling such as Jackass and Dirty Sanchez.

Here’s the Discovery Channel’s answer to masochism. Jonathan Goodwin is a British escapologist. He’s famous for attempting (and often failing) daring and dangerous escapes and was once hung live on TV after a stunt went wrong. But this time, he’s doing it all in the name of science.

Episode one sees him testing whether or not he can escape situations with minimal movement and to make sure he doesn’t move, he’s devised some tear-inducing scenarios for himself. Read More…

I’m A Celebrity: George Out, Boredom In

November 30, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, News

hamilton1George Hamilton has become the third person to leave the jungle without being voted off following Camilla Dallerup and glamour model Katie Price.

Dallerup left first following concerns about her health and Jordan left because the public voted her to do a seventh consecutive bush tucker trial (honestly, you know what you signed up for – get with the programme).

George was recently seen talking to condescension-incarnate Kim Woodburn about the possibility of leaving the jungle after a phone conversation with his girlfriend.

Producers have been constantly worried about the Hollywood star’s health and have excluded him from practically all the bush tucker trials. Meanwhile, the rest of the camp has been doing his cleaning and chores for him – seems like he took his life of luxury in there with him.

With George’s departure, who’s going to tell stories about Warren Beatty and Frank Sinatra now? It’s definitely not going to be Justin is it? His only story is going to be how he once met Hollywood legend George Hamilton.

Twilight Is No Thanksgiving Turkey

November 30, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, News

Twilight-410-largeVegetarian vampire emo-a-thon Twilight: New Moon is still the top of the US box office this week.

Grossing $42.5 million dollars over the long Thanksgiving holiday, Pattinson’s pale brigade have managed to hold off competition for a second week running. Turkey and vampires it seems are a winning combination. Mind you, have you ever tried to stuff a vampire?

It’s now grossed a massive $230 million, more in its ten day release than the original Twilight grossed in its entire run. That’s enough to keep them in eyeliner for weeks.

Bringing up the second place slot is Sandra Bullock sports drama The Blind Side and Roland Emmerich’s disaster-em-up 2012.

X Factor: What Simon Wants, Simon Gets

November 30, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, News

joe-xfactorSimon Cowell was accused of favouritism last night after encouraging the other X Factor judges to vote for Joe McElderry.

Joe was through to the semi-final last night after his performance of Elton John’s Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word for which he received a standing ovation.

According to The Sun, Cowell’s been leaning on the other judges to heap more praise onto Joe in a bid to influence the voting public. It seems that the other judges have been compliant so far with both Dannii Minogue and Louis Walsh urging viewers to vote for the singer.

Dannii was brimming with praise, “There hasn’t been a song sung in this competition with more passion than that.

“I have to see you in the final. Please vote for Joe.”

Louis agreed, “You’ve got the voice, you have got the personality. You were born to do this.”

The other remaining contestants Olly Murs and Danyl Johnson are understandable a little bit peeved.
A show source told the paper, “Joe is the winner in Simon’s eyes. He’s been bigging up Joe when the judges are around.

“The others are not happy. But the bottom line with Simon is, ‘Who will sell records?’”

I’m sure we can look forward to the eventual winner topping the Christmas charts and you can look forward to me topping myself in response.

I’m A Celebrity: George Of The Jungle Wants Out

November 30, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, News

George3George Hamilton was considering packing his bags last night after an emotional phone call with his girlfriend Barbara.

He was given the chance to call the outside world after the celebrities won a challenge which enabled one of them to use a mobile phone.

Musing on the whys and wherefores of his purpose in the jungle, he told Kim Woodburn,

“I’m at point where this is fun to do. I’m not going to go head to head, so I’m thinking about leaving, pulling out tomorrow.”

Kim asked him to stay but the 70-year-old actor said: “At my age, the time I have with people I care about is important.

“I don’t see a purpose for me to stay.”

We see a purpose for you to stay George – keeping us sane. We’d much rather have you in there than clucking mother hen Kim any day.

I’m A Celebrity: Joe’s Out For The Count – So Are Ratings

November 30, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, News

Joe bugner3Joe Bugner’s loss to fellow contestant Stuart Manning has publicity chiefs in a bit of a panic.

He was voted by the public to take part in the Jungle Jail task with either him or the former Hollyoaks star destined to leave if they were the loser. Unfortunately, he was the too slow and so he had to go.

This has left ITV bosses in a bit of a tizzy as Joe was one of their last remaining audience draws. Since Jordan’s untimely exit last week, ratings have already plummeted by two million; Joe leaving was the last thing bosses wanted.

A show source said, “He has been the centre of attention and has helped to create quite a few arguments. Stuart’s a nice guy but is seriously dull.

“They can’t have the interesting people picked off. Ratings might tumble even further.”

Joe was none too pleased about packing his bags either, “I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay till the end.

“I’ve had a wonderful time. I knew from the word go that the youth would take over here and I’m happy for Stuart.”

The Queen Review: Sisters Doing It For Themselves

November 29, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, Reviews

4 thequeen300THE QUEEN: Sunday 29th November, Channel 4, 9pm ALERT ME

We remember the days when we had to make do with one yuletide helping of the Queen per year – but she hasn’t been off our screens of late.

Just a couple of weeks ago we saw her swanning around in 3D and now Channel 4 are kicking off a mini-series of five programmes, each dedicated to a different chapter in our beloved monarch’s life.

Emilia Fox stars in the first this evening and she portrays a young Elizabeth as she struggles to contain a relationship between her sister (Princess Margaret) and the dashing but divorced war hero Peter Townsend.

Despite being more than ten years her senior, this member of royal staff had become very close to the young princess in the years following the war. While his namesake was busy planning a rock career with The Who, he was playing (tonsil) tennis with the second in line to the throne. Read More…

I’m A Celebrity: Kim Annoys Everyone – Again

November 28, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, News

kimbabsEver the queen of the patronising put-down, Kim Woodburn was at it again last night as she interfered in the Friday night trial.

The How Clean Is Your House star (who we’ve noticed, bears more than a passing resemblence to Babs from Chicken Run) dissauded Sabrina Washington from taking on the task and suggested that ex-snooker player Jimmy White should take it on instead.

Woodburn then tried to cover her tracks by telling viewers that her young companion had been playing up to the cameras – we’ve heard that one before though haven’t we Kim.

Incidentally, it is also now quite apparent that since Jordan has left the jungle, the tasks have become very different.

In other news Jimmy won the team some stars by completing a high-wire challenge above the jungle roof-top and Sam Fox was voted out after winning a vote against Washington and White.

Soap Awards – Lucas The Serial Killer!

November 28, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, Features

'I apologise. You're right - it's a lovely bowtie'

'I apologise. You're right - it's a lovely bowtie'

Church-boy Lucas really seems to be getting into the swing of this murder lark.

We’re no experts on the subject, but we think its fair to say that the scrawny nutter has now officially become a serial-killer. He may have claimed to be heading to the Lake District on his honeymoon, but we reckon the gardening-ripper is really off to Midsomer village, armed to the teeth with trowels.

Poor Owen was the latest person to feel the horticultural hand of Loopy Lucas this week. Indeed the fallen preacher has become so confident in his villainy that he’s taken to hiding evidence in ever more daring places.

If we committed a murder in Walford we’d go to a bit more trouble than burying the body in the park (how in the name of Pat’s dangly earrings did no-one see him?) before planting a forlorn tree on top of the make-shift grave.

That probably won’t get discovered… Read More…

X Factor: Eminem To Be A Judge?

November 27, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, News

Eminem_101What’s happened to X Factor recently? It seems to have been blown out of the water by Jordan and her publicity roadshow.

Call us cynical, but we think there could be a bit of controversy in the pipeline this weekend. Simon Cowell does not relinquish his precious ratings easily.

One thing that would definitely bring Ant & Dec’s power-grab to an abrupt end is the arrival of Eminem on the judges table.

This week the rapper even offered his services, revealing that he is actually a massive fan of the show. True-to-form he then immediately started cussing the show’s current judges – and with good reason.

“No disrespect to the current judges but you need people who are global, platinum-selling stars. You need to prepare contestants for what it’s really like out there, and what sort of pressure you are going to be under,” explained Shady.

He went on to say that he’d “guarantee” a platinum-selling star if he and his producer pal Dr Dre each had a guest slot as judges: “So much average talent comes out of these reality shows, it’s time to give people a chance who deserve it.

“A hip-hop star will never win a show like The X Factor without somebody like me on the panel. There are a lot of very talented hip-hop stars who would kill for a for a break in Britain but the judges aren’t qualified in hip-hop.?

“I keep my eye on the urban scene in Britain and there is a lot of talent out there. It needs somebody in power to open a door for them.”

Next Page »