Joan Collins Does Glamour Review: Preserving An Ancient Dynasty

October 14, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, Reviews

tv-stars-4JOAN COLLIN DOES GLAMOUR: Tuesday 13th October, ITV1, 9pm Alert Me

From gay fashionistas to temperamental ex-models, primetime makeover shows have had their fare share of juvenile hosts.

But when it comes to style, glamorous—and not the “flossy flossy? that Fergie barks about—is Joan Collins middle name. The ‘80s Dynasty queen is shielding bare midriffs and slapping on lipstick to Britain’s most dowdy and rowdy of women in her new, appropriately named series, Joan Does Glamour.

Dressed in a white pantsuit with those oversized, round-rimmed sunglasses, dark red lips and a silk handkerchief tied around her head, the 76-year-old Hollywood legend harkens back to a time when ladies took pride in their appearance. The Golden Globe Award-winning English actress began her career as a pin-up girl in UK magazines through the 1950s and ‘60s. But her now infamous clotheshorse and villainess persona stems from her portrayal of the vengeful Alexis in the soap opera, Dynasty. With a reputation for vanity and vogue, who more quintessential than Collins to instruct stylishly inept women on the essence of glamour?

In the premiere, Collins heads to Plymouth to perform magic on three generations of Littlefair women for an impending birthday party. Nan Eileen’s fashion sense is long gone. Mum Mary spends more time grooming her dogs than herself. And Holli, who is turning 16, would rather “blend into the background.? And it is this family who will eagerly be Collins’ pet projects for the next two weeks.

Let’s not pretend Collins is sweet. “I have a lot more respect for those that look good than for people that look like slobs,? she sneers, staring dead-straight into the camera at the start of the show. She jabs Nan’s flabby arms after first meeting her, and proclaims, “We need to cover you up a bit.? She gives Mary the one-over in the Primark dressing room and then decrees, “What a sad sack look.? Collins does not hold back when it comes to her feelings about glamour.

But diatribes against dowdiness and wardrobe snootiness aside, Collins is undeniably entertaining. Whether she is celebrating a 7-year-old’s “chic? suede vest in Sainsbury’s or gawking at tattooed women in a bar, we can not help but adore her. And despite the insults, even the Littlefair women respect Collins, because they look good when it is all over. After more than 40 years in the spotlight, Collins somehow finds a way to infuse class unto ordinary womanhood.

Glamour has never been so attainable.

Danielle Jacoby