30 Rock Review: 30 Carat Comedy

October 31, 2009 by  
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30rock30030 ROCK: Monday 1st November, Comedy Central, 10pm Alert Me

How can a show that was nominated for a record-breaking 22 Emmys last summer average only 5.8 million US viewers every week?

It is a mystery, and a particularly puzzling one at that.

When will selfish television viewers start listening to the wisdom-filled critics? Not until they start chatting about Come Dine With Me apparently. Read More…

Celebrity Come Dine With Me Review: Celebrities Behaving Boringly

October 31, 2009 by  
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CDWM300CELEBRITY COME DINE WITH ME: Sunday 1st November, Channel 4, 8pm Alert Me

Just like pretty much every woman (and if they’re honest, most of the men) in Britain, we love Come Dine With Me.

If you need us to tell you why, we suggest you get yourself on Channel 4 catch-up immediately – a television phenomenon is passing you by.

But what makes it so delicious is not just the vocal vegans, the nauseating know-it-alls and the culinary catastrophes. It’s not even the fabulously stinging narration from Dave Lamb. Read More…

Tennant: Doctor Who Farewell Is Emotional and Exciting

October 31, 2009 by  
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tennantAs you may have heard, David Tennant has only three hours left as Doctor Who before he hands over his sonic screw-driver to Matt Smith next year.

These three special episodes (the first to be shown on 15 November) will mark the Scottish actor’s swansong after four years in the role – and understandably, he’s a bit gutted.

“It was very emotional saying cheerio. Filming the final scene was very, very sad. There’s lots of scenes in the final, final story that are very sad and were very sad to play,” he said wistfully.

At a sneak preview of upcoming special, The Waters Of Mars (which looks excellent by the way) the space/time-traveller is forced to consider the prospect of his own immediate demise. Eep!

“The Doctor finds himself in a situation where he knows what the end is. It’s all about whether he can un-knit the inevitable.”

“With this particular Time Lord’s life coming to an end, if he starts fiddling with the fundamentals of time and space, it might lead to his undoing,” explained Tennant.

At the end of the sneak preview, we were also given a glimpse of what is to come at Christmas and we it is with poorly disguised delight that we can confirm John Simm’s return as the doctor’s arch-nemesis, The Master.

“It’s fitting and proper he should be there to see the Doctor off – if that’s what happens,” Tennant teased, speaking of Simm’s return. “The Doctor now knows incontrovertibly that he’s running from his own demise.”

But if the upcoming special is anything to go by, these climactic episodes will contain some of the darkest and scariest adventures the doctor has embarked on yet.

This could mean that Matt Smith has some very big shoes to fill come 2010, but Tennant explained how excited he is for his young replacement saying “it couldn’t have happened to a nicer chap”.

“Anyway you always get to be called the doctor…”

Radio: Longest-Serving Soap Star EVER Dies

October 29, 2009 by  
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As you may (or may not) have noticed, it’s been a while since we did a radio news-story.

But just because someone put a tab on the menu bar doesn’t mean we have to trawl through the radio pages looking for content – in truth good radio stories arrive with about the same frequency as the average night bus.

So we decided to bide our time and wait for the right piece of news to land on our browsers, promising ourselves that when this red-hot scoop arrived we would write the hell out of it.

And here it is, the radio news story of the decade, nay the century!

Norman Painting, who played Phil Archer on long-running Radio 4 drama The Archers for nearly 60 years, has died at the age of 85 confirmed the BBC today.

This man made Barbara Windsor – and everyone else for that matter – look like comparable spring-chickens.

Not only was he the longest-serving star of the slow-moving soap which is loved by middle-aged middle-Englanders everywhere, but he was the longest serving star of any single soap opera – anywhere.

RIP Norman.

Heather Mills Favourite To Be First Celeb Off ‘Ice’

October 29, 2009 by  
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Bookmakers are notoriously good at gauging public opinion, but they would not have needed to call in their top forecasters to predict how Heather Mills would do in next year’s Dancing On Ice.

Only having one leg would be seen by many as quite a large disadvantage in such a competition.

But when you consider that she is about as popular with the British public as Nick Griffin is at his local mosque, the outcome becomes even easier to foresee.

As such betting bosses have made the ‘charity worker’ one of the favourites to make an early exit – if she makes it to the competition at all.
William Hill has now announced that it is offering odds of 3/1 that Mills will be the first celebrity to be voted off the programme.

Spokesman Rupert Adams said: “Heather did well in the American version of Strictly, Dancing With The Stars, but she would be unlikely to win a popularity contest in the UK and we don’t expect her to last long.”

Such a shame.

The Lowdown: Things You Never Knew About Michael Jackson

October 29, 2009 by  
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Whether you loved him or hated him, Michael Jackson was the King of Pop.

Sure, he was a bit odd. But thanks to MJ, we have classics like Thriller, Billy Jean, Beat It and Bad.

Ultimately selling 750m albums worldwide, with 13 Grammy Awards to his name, Michael Jackson was one of the most commercially successful and influential entertainers of all time.

Four months after his death, This is It has premiered (check out our inspired 5 Most Shameless Movie Cash Ins Ever).

The much-anticipated documentary features rehearsal footage of the London O2 Arena comeback concert which never happened.

So whether you are a die hard fan or merely a pop culture patron, OTB brings you things you may not know about Michael Jackson. Read More…

X Factor: Police Threaten To Shut Contestants House

October 29, 2009 by  
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Another day another avalanche of E-Jo twins press coverage, but who’s complaining? Certainly not us – our job hasn’t been this easy since Nikki Graham was on Big Brother.

Anyway let’s get started..

There are inflated reports circulating that the X Factor house could be shut down after police started investigating lewd acts by fans.

Cops wer called after girls started flashing their boobs at the pair who responded by grabbing their crotches in the style of Michael Jackson.

Concerned local Alexander Netsler said yesterday: “I saw a girl who must have only been about 14 lifting up her top to flash at the twins. I had to look away.”

Other residents are considering a more militant approach against the twins legion of young fans.

“The people round here are extremely wealthy and have their own personal security. If necessary, we will blockade the street and stop the crowd ourselves”, said one man known locally as Spartacus.

Such a pity that it’s nearly the end of half-term…

X Factor: Twins Upset China

October 29, 2009 by  
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China has waded into the furore surrounding the E-Jo twins after their fans annoyed an ambassador who lives next-door to the contestants house.

It’s just a pity that you can’t vote from the Far East, 1.6 billion telephone calls would surely be enough to remove the talentless pair from the competition.

Apparently Chinese ambassador, Madam Fu Ying is “very irritated” by fans constantly screaming, creating litter and graffiting the gates of the upmarket property.

The Asian dignitary is not the only person who is losing their cool over the situation.

Local resident Mr Netsler pompously told The Sun: “We want them out. There are some seriously wealthy residents in the street. It’s like putting a bunch of chavs next to the Queen.”

That wouldn’t do at all would it…

Man Streaks On The Wright Stuff

October 29, 2009 by  
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There is undeniably something very very funny about streakers on live television.

Matthew Wright obviously didn’t think so when infamous bum-barer Mark Roberts burst on to the live set of his show The Wright Stuff naked.

“You’re an idiot”, said the host. “You’re the worst streaker I have ever seen.”

“Just goes to show how quickly middle-aged men go downhill. Oh dear that rather spoilt things. No willies on this show”, added Wright who had to apologise to viewers after guest Hardeep Singh Kohli swore.

Roberts – who has previously streaked on nearly 400 occasions – ran into the Channel 5 studio waving his arms and other things wildly at 9.45 yesterday morning.

He was escorted away by security but not arrested.

Marc French Interview: Ugly Modelling Agency Boss

October 29, 2009 by  
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Hiring dwarves for a porno, fat people to test bed springs or 78-year-olds with scrotal piercings… it’s just another day on the job for Marc French, who runs the London-based alternative modelling agency Ugly.

Ugly supplies “character” models for all of the above, as well as for major fashion campaigns and magazine shoots, with clients including Dazed and Confused, Calvin Klein and Vogue.

Britain’s Ugliest Models – a documentary series following the everyday ins and outs of the agency – starts this week on Five, so we caught up with the man who makes it all happen. An ex-model himself, he shares with us his views on SuBo, celebrating diversity and whether a Britain’s Next Top Ugly Model reality show may be on the cards… Read More…

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