Farmer Wants A Wife Review: E-I-E-I-Beau?

September 16, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, Reviews

2Farmer Wants A Wife: Wednesday 16th September, FIVE, 9pm ALERT ME

Britain’s farmers have a lot to answer for: They steal an hour of snoozing every March, cause traffic jams with gigantic tractors and now they have abducted the lovely Louise Redknapp.

Maybe we shouldn’t be too harsh on them as apparently it’s a bit difficult to get laid out in the sticks. Thirty year-old Derek is an agriculturally handsome arable farmer who has this kind of problem.

“It would just be nice to have someone to spend time with,? he says sorrowfully as a violin whines in the background.

Never fear Derek, because Louise Redknapp is here to pimp out some city birds desperate to get back to nature.

Incidentally, the collection of epic scarves that the ex-Eternal singer has on show suggests she wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a cowpat and a flat-cap, but as ever, she impresses us with her great personality.

In the first installment of this new six-part series, the programme formula is hammered out continuously and we soon learn that of the four girls, our farmer must choose his two favourites to battle it out over the next week.

Unlike the monumentally ridiculous American version, there was a real and disappointing absence of mud-slinging from the girls once they did start to get their hands dirty.

Depending on your taste that might be an aspect of the show which appeals to you, but when I dip my toe in the surreal reality water I like to be rewarded with some heavy-duty controversy.

While I was lamenting the absence of some lady-psychos, Derek was pleasantly surprised by the compatible nature of the suitors that Channel 5 bosses had unearthed with the help of cupid’s modern replacement – the Internet.

The arable farmer from Buckinghamshire is no Hugh Jackman, but the two women that stay behind to help him unblock a sewage pipe (seriously!!), seem to be utterly besotted with the cornhusker.

Good for him – pretty boring for us.

Sean Marland

Kate Walsh certainly knows how it feels to be in the last two – she chatted to OTB last week…