Real Housewives of New Jersey Review: The Simpleton’s Life
REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY: Tuesday 1st September, Channel 4, 10:35pm Alert Me
Prepare to see the degradation of the human spirit before your very eyes.
Channel 4 brings us another show in the vein of The Simple Life, though can they possibly get any simpler?
Real Housewives of New Jersey revolves around five affluent uniformly cat-faced and perma-tanned ladies. Calling them â€śrealâ€? might be a bit of a stretch.
They live in Franklin Lakes, New Joisey, a few hours away from New York City where apparently 5% of the townâ€™s intelligence is shared among 95% of the residents.
Cue the predictable paff of stupid people saying stupid things that are edited together to make them sound even more stupid.
Stage mom Teresa insists sheâ€™s not fake, in the same breath expressing her desire for new breasts. She does all the things that vacuous beings with too much money do, dropping $120K in one go on statement furniture for the new house as she says: â€śI hear the economyâ€™s crashing which is why I pay cashâ€?, counting out the Benjamins.
This week on the show Teresa and Jacqueline go to spy on recent divorcee (and dead ringer for Teri Hatcherâ€™s mum) Danielleâ€™s date with a gentleman she met on wealthymen.com. Meanwhile Caroline throws a graduation party for her son and Dina gets her nails done.
Donâ€™t worry if you donâ€™t remember the names. Helpfully, as five names and faces can be too many to remember, every time a new sequence begins the name and a little video of the appropriate housewife striking a sassy pose (sassy: placing hands on hips with raised eyebrow) appear in the corner.
Theyâ€™re like those reminders that rudely pop up while youâ€™re watching House, obscuring Hugh Laurieâ€™s gob to tell you about something thatâ€™s not even on next but later in the week.
Theyâ€™re making a mockery of their subject matter and their audience now.
Bonehead-baiting shows like this one have got so transparent in what theyâ€™re trying to do that theyâ€™ve ceased to be entertaining. Theyâ€™re becoming as tired and flaccid as the leathery over-tanned skin of a bingo wing.
Real Housewivesâ€™ placement in such an awkward timeslot suggests that Channel 4 isnâ€™t too confident about it either.
However it looks as though it might get better as the series progresses, with tensions among the group bubbling to the surface. Whether the crescendo will be as explosive as promised remains to be seen.
The lady on How to Snare a Millionaire a little bit less subtle about her golddigging, read our review here… or check out our ‘Enders Soap Spoiler Gallery, with the infamous (and sassy) Sam Mitchell returning to the Square…