The Aggro Factor: 5 Rantiest X Factor Rejects

August 21, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, Features

So X Factor is back. A bunch of talentless hopefuls will once again be blighting our weekends with their tuneless warblings.

For us at OTB, the competition has more in common with Formula One than Top Of The Pops: We just want to watch the carnage at the first bend.

When it comes to car-crash television, even a Grand Prix can’t compete with Simon Cowell’s entertainment-Godzilla, and the Internet is awash with shocking vocal performances from the most famous audition room on TV.

But if you want to get on one of our lists, you have to go that extra mile, and we refused to settle for rubbish people – we wanted furious rubbish people.

Set your faces to cringe.

Ariel Burdett

To call this an audition is probably doing it a great disservice. This is a textbook example of how not to conduct yourself when within one hundred yards of another human being.

For his many faults, Simon Cowell is a perceptive man – Attitude Burdett is possibly the angriest person ever.

A haircut might have cheered her up.

Highlight: 3.01 – As she leaves the room, she turns to consider the judges before telling them exactly what she thinks of them.

Rachel Lester

Where to begin? This is a video of non-stop belligerence. Our young Welsh vocalist starts by giving someone a proper dirty look in the waiting room and it’s all downhill from there.

She demands a microphone, sings a terrible version of Sheena Easton’s ‘Sugar Walls’ and then tells everyone in the room that they’re s**t.

A TV bleeping team can’t have been this busy since Pete was on Big Brother.

And that is the truth of the matter.

Highlight: 2.05 – “It was good wasn’t it, let’s face it.?

Debbie Stevens

In all honesty, this girl isn’t bad, but when the evil leprechaun better known as Louis Walsh tells her where to go, she decides to fight fire with fire. Not content with her attempt to banish the midget from his own audition room, she chucks a glass of water at him.

It was a nice idea, but unfortunately she lingered in the act, allowing the wiley old badger time to mount a pre-emptive attack.

A fantastic opportunity missed.

Highlight: 1.30 – “You can’t bloody sing mate!?

Ashwin Abinashi

Of all the people in this list, young Ashwin must be the most deluded and the way he disappears behind the screen still muttering threats is side-splitting. His “you haven’t heard the last of me – farewell? was worthy of the finest Bond-villain.

“Maybe I haven’t got the X Factor but I’ve got everything that’s bigger than the X Factor,? he said ostentatiously.

“The trouble is the show’s called the X Factor,? answered Cowell.


Highlight: 1.53 – He smashes the the door open and explains that “one day Simon Cowell will come begging to kiss my shoes for a job!?
(Not just begging for a job – but begging to kiss his shoes for a job!)

Emma Chawner

This was the Big Mac of all auditions, and the story ran and ran in the national press as people accused this family of feeding-off the welfare system. They were eventually evicted from their council house when neighbours made 130 complaints over singing. Seriously.

For once it’s difficult to disagree with anything Simon Cowell says. This girl is massively terrible, and the shot where her family crosses their sausages outside is one of the funniest (notice the father is actually unable to).

Once again some great editing by ITV bods adds to the extra large laughs.

Highlight: 2.52 – Up against some heavy-weight competition, we had to plump for the mum accusing the judges of “down-right ignorance?.

Sean Marland

Check out our exclusive preview of the new series or catch up on the latest rumours of which shiny celebrities are set to appear…..

gracisou says:

Loving this piece