Sold?: Evian’s Roller-Psychos

July 9, 2009 by  
Filed under - Home, Features


Breakdancing, roller skating CGI babies. That’s why I look to adverts for realism.
Evian’s latest attempt to connect with the viewer and hone in on the marketing equivalent of a roofie (numbs you into submission, constantly in demand etc) shows a bunch of roller skating toddlers jiving and leaping at chain fences in their exuberance.
The babies dancing around on roller skates are intensely creepy. Part of the ad when the babies jump and hang on to a metal link fence looks like it’s from a horror movie, some sort of Children of the Corn prequel.  Babies of the water?
Chances are this ad was made by some die hard Ally McBeal fan that couldn’t quite let go of the dancing baby scene. But how to update it?
‘Ally McBeal hasn’t been on TV for years. What do people like these days?’
‘Hip hop.  The kids like hip hop.’
‘But are the kids going to be the main buyers of Evian?’
‘Like it matters.  It’s a dancing baby, who wont love that?’
Answer: anyone who’s seen it.
The tenuous link the ads trying to make between babies and vitality is pointless because anyone who’s ever been around knows that they’re not full of vitality. They’re full of poop.