Give Them A Grilling: Interrogation Scenes To Fry Your Brain
With the scorcher of a Bank Holiday weekend behind us, most people are still sweating out the hulking great amounts of meat they consumed whilst indulging in polite conversation and the odd tipple (I make that Pimms O’Clock!)
It’s no surprise, therefore that we are celebrating National BBQ Week! (Fans of the site may have noticed, we try to milk every useless money-making scam of a celebration for all it’s worth).
We at OTB have worked long and hard (or for about an hour and a half at least), to put our skewed, Ritalin-buzzing brains together to construct a BBQ-tastic article that is so perfect, it’s simply not suitable for human consumption. Praise be to the TV gods for creating the epic interrogation scene. Consider this our verbal shrine to cop grillings both old and new.
And remember…we have ways of making you talk…
Let’s face it, the BBC are pussies when it comes to blood-soaked, graphic violence. Can you imagine David Tennant nutting a Dalek in the face until it bleeds black electrical plasma? Nope, me neither.
So when Spooks came along from way out left-field, mummies, daddies and kiddlies from all over the land were shocked into dinner-spitting submission. Torture involving a deep fat fryer.. TO THE FACE?!
And that was only Episode Two. They didn’t even ease you into the dark, complicated plot twists that saturate the series before metaphorically ripping your fingernails out with a pair of pliers.
Flippin’ eck, perhaps letting Steven Seagal take over as a Production Assistant was a bit of an oversight.
Ok, so we tried to find the epic clip where Coltrane clashes with Robert Carlyle but alas, you will have to make do with this comic relief epic.
Helen Mirren, admitting to a penchant for nudity and affairs? That lady is such a GrILF, it puts us in fear of therapy.
We thought grannies were meant to be famed for putrid wet kisses and vicious attempts to choke every grandchild to death with boiled sweets? They aren’t meant to be super sexy, especially after playing the Queen.
If she was interrogating Coltrane, all she’d need to do is flash a bit of cleavage and the cuddly beast would be reduced to a dribbling wreck. Mirren be packing feminine wiles a-plenty.
After our rip-roaring review of Lie To Me, we want to brainwash the world into developing a borderline Tim Roth/body language obsession. If you aren’t squinting at the person at the desk opposite you to check for signs of contempt when you ask what they think of your new outfit, you soon will be.
In one episode he even sees through the attempts of an elderly woman to stifle her reactions with Botox. Not even rat’s wee can stop Roth-y in his tracks.
Check out the opening scenes of the pilot for the most intriguing interrogation scene ever. Shoulder shrugs have never been so blooming telling.
Checklist for Red Riding torture sequence: Cigarettes, 1 Giant Rat (preferably rabid/foaming at the mouth), Deodorant – to block out the smell of burning flesh, Pliers, A CD of Cliff Richard’s Greatest Hits (to calm the victim/ cover up screams of pain), 1 electro-charged anal probe (just kidding!).
This definite list may go some way as to explaining why we chose to tantalise you with a dashing shot of (Eeeevil) David Morrisey rather than footage of the most graphic interrogation scene of the series. Still, for those who haven’t seen it, we would urge you, implore you, entreat you and impress upon you your utmost need to purchase the DVD. Yet, be warned it’s darker than David Cameron’s armpit.
There’s no deying it – The Wire is one of the best cop drama’s to come out for a long time. Not since the movie re-make of Hairspray has Baltimore been so famous.
Gritty, realistic and (perhaps a bit too) honest, David Simon’s writing works because it is wholly based on his real experiences as a police reporter. There’s inherent racism, sexism, ageism and every other kind of prejudice going. Most of the cast hate each other, but it works and it’s beautiful.
In this clip, Bunk and Freeman live up to their wise-cracking best. The jury is still out on McNulty’s weird-ass anglo-yank accent. He sounds like Christian Bale on days when he’s remembered to take his mood-stablising drugs.
Best of all, we haven’t heard the phrase “Yabba Dabba Doo” since John Goodman murdered the role of Fred Flintstone. Now we can only think of it fondly. Cheers, Bunk old chap.