Sesame Street: C is for Credit Crunch

March 13, 2009 by  
Filed under News

Whilst the recession continues to mow down innocent bystanders in a raging Godzilla massacre styl-ee, it appears that none of our streets are safe from the ensuing melancholic repercussions – not even the sing-a-long-a-fun-town that is Sesame Street.

Over 60 jobs are being cut from the legendary children’s TV series after Sesame Workshop announced that Wall Street donations have substantially reduced; their budget no doubt the victim of a misguided shrink ray.

This devastating news had me thinking; if misery comes to Sesame Street – the only known safe-haven for the enjoyment of rapturous (clean) fun – surely someone has finally put a price on happiness (and they said it couldn’t be done!). Can you imagine the effect this will have on future generations? Picture the grim scene…

Elmo asks to move in with Oscar the Grouch, who’s already pushed for space in his bedsit trash-can, and the jobless pair inevitably develop a substance abuse problem.

The Count starts to develop early onset dementia and begins to forget any numbers in double figures. Snuffleupagas will go bald from malnutrition, and it won’t be long before Big Bird’s looking to top himself.

What is the world coming to?