Cheeky Girls in ‘Cringeworthy perfection’ shocker

March 11, 2009 by  
Filed under News

Who’d have thunk it? Apparently the effects of the credit crunch are extending past our wallets and preparing to wreak havoc with both the mind and body of the average Joe, not to mention those high-flying TV gurus that we rely upon to entertain us on a daily basis.

When it comes to ground-breaking ideas, inspiration is lacking. These days malnourished TV Execs are really scraping the barrel – just look at BBC3 show Snog, Marry, Avoid? What many of us thought of as a childish playground activity has been deemed worthy of TV show status. Yep, really.

The show is fleshed out by the addition of POD – a super-computer host with the tasteful fashion sense and cutting backchat of Anna Wintour (I like to visualise POD with an equally frightful Robo-bob). In the most recent episode, the Cheeky Girls were unsurprisingly written off as “plastic fantastic Transylvanian terrors? who most men (even Lembit Opik these days) would like to avoid.

Before forcing them to undergo a chic-under, POD quips that “…two strips of Bacofoil do not constitute an outfit.? Not in conventional society no, but given the greasy, flaccid pink look of the twins, one could easily mistake them for a foil-favouring substance, like streaky bacon, giving the phrase “meat market? a whole new meaning.

Despite my long-standing beef with BBC3, I can only hail Snog, Marry, Avoid? for it’s cringeworthy perfection. The girls balked at being called “twin trannies? as they state the ultimate obvious – “we like slap? – something of an understatement. Their “faces? are nothing more a mask of black sweeps and pastel blotches with a greasy smear where one’s mouth should be. Monika and Gabriela are the kind of low-rent scrubbers that would put Barbie off pink for life. Roll on the obligatory Jodie Marsh episode.

Check out Snog, Marry, Avoid? on BBC3, Mondays at 8:30pm.