Horizon – Alan and Marcus Go Forth and Multiply Review: No, Not The Numbers!

March 31, 2009 by  
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horizon-300x210HORIZON: ALAN AND MARCUS GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY, Tuesday 31st March, BBC2, 9.00PM Alert Me

Maths. It’s enough to make anyone shudder and grimace with memories of quadratic equations and algebra. I have no idea how I passed my Maths GCSE; most of my time was spent copying work from someone who knew what they were talking about and trying not to inhale the god-awful breath of the most aptly named fat teacher, Miss Fulton (or Full Tonne to those who are still trying to erase the memories of her in lycra cycling shorts on that nightmarish Mufti Day).

Gunners fan Alan Davies shares my distaste for all things numerical, but Oxford Professor Marcus du Sautoy is determined to prove that arithmetic need not be the enemy. With a tour that leads the pair to Oxford and Paris, across a canny array of mathematical games to keep them amused, each gradually peaks Alan’s interest in calculating the incalculable.

No doubt about it, Professor Du Sautoy has an effervescent enthusiasm about Maths that I didn’t think possible. Although the banter is great (look out for the awkward pause after Marcus asks “Are you ready to be sucked off…?” More innuendos after the jump!

Sex Education Vs. Pornography: Why Zack and Miri should think twice….

March 30, 2009 by  
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After years of community projects pioneered by charities such as the Terrence Higgins Trust, and an endless, changing stream of seemingly unsuccessful condom marketing campaigns; finally Channel 4 is revolutionising televised sex education.

Unlike The Great Sperm Race, The Sex Education Show vs Pornography is more focused on tackling body image misconceptions. It is worrying to think that young people are basing their ideas of what is “normal? by what is presented in porn films. Although this particular episode focused on the female body over the male, it made some worrying discoveries. Previously, teenage boys had to rely on the underwear catalogue for their marginal masturbation material (cue hilarious pictures of the decade that fashion forgot, with string vest and pants combo aplenty). Now, pornographic images are freely available on Fancy finding out? Click here…

James Corden Doesn’t Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry…

March 30, 2009 by  
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Apparently Mat Horne’s comedic other half is suffering from depression. Following the critics rubbishing of his most recent material, perhaps James Corden is finally beginning to realise that fat jokes have a near non-existent shelf life (although no-one seems to have told Jo Brand that).

Friends have tried to coax Jumbo James out of hiding with a veritable smorgasbord of Fray Bentos pies and Pot Noodle but to no avail. Even the fact Lesbian Vampire Killers is continuing to woo the public and challenge predicted box office figures has failed to raise comatose Corden from his misery-addled slumber.

Oh boo hoo, my new show got panned by the critics, wah wah wah. Yes James Corden, it was rubbish. But there’s no need to get all bent out of shape about it, us critics have a job to do and so do you. So get out there, stop freeloading off the BBC, write some new material, and make us laugh!

Pick of The Week – Monday 30th March

March 30, 2009 by  
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sex-ed-110x110The Sex Education Show vs Pornography
Channel 4, Mon 30th March,8.00pm Alert Me
Anna Richardson and a team of sexual health experts travel to schools across the country to give students ground-breaking lessons in sex education. First up, students from a secondary school in Norfolk get live interactive lessons in anatomy. Using live models they find out everything they need to know about the female body. Anna learns how easy access to internet pornography affects young people.

the-wire-110x110The Wire
BB2, Mon 30th March,10.20pm Alert Me
When the Baltimore PD comes under pressure for their failings in combating a drugs-related homicide, a new detail is set up to placate the politicians; their impossible task is bringing the elusive Avon Barksdale to justice.

horizon-110x110Horizon – Alan and Marcus Go Forth and Multiply
BB2, Tues 31st March, 8.00pm Alert Me
Ever since he was at school, comedian Alan Davies has hated maths. Like many people, he is not much good at it either. However, with the help of top mathematician Professor Marcus du Sautoy, Alan is going to embark on a maths odyssey. Together they visit the fourth dimension, cross the universe and explore the concept of infinity. Will Alan be able to master the most complex maths concept around?

queens-110x110Queens Of British Pop
BB1, Weds 1st April, 9.45pm Alert Me
Two-part series celebrating 12 female singers and icons who have influenced British pop music from the sixties to the present day. The series features new interviews with iconic stars including Sandie Shaw, Suzi Quatro, Siouxsie Sioux, Annie Lennox and Leona Lewis

cutting-edge-110x110Cutting Edge – Would You Save A Stranger?
Channel 4, Thurs 2nd April, 8.00pm Alert Me
A 12-year-old is beaten and stamped on by a crowd of teenagers on a crowded bus. A man is punched to the ground and kicked repeatedly in the head in an almost deserted London street. Gun-wielding robbers threaten a cashier in a petrol station. Confronted with a vicious attack on a complete stranger, witnesses in 5 separate incidents are forced to decide: intervene and risk their own safety, or turn away.

unreported-sierra-110x110Unreported World – Sierra Leone: Insanity of War
Channel 4, Friday 3rd April, 6.35pm Alert Me
In Sierra Leone, thousands have been left traumatised after one of the most brutal conflicts in history. Reporter Seyi Rhodes and director George Waldrum find a population that has witnessed rape, torture and public executions. The country’s only psychiatrist tells Rhodes that 80 per cent of people needing help believe that mental illness is caused by evil spirits, so they turn to the church and traditional healers.

Primeval Series 3, Episode 1 Review

March 27, 2009 by  
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PRIMEVAL, ITV1,  Saturday 28th March, 7:20pm Alert Me

I am, I’ll admit, a Primeval virgin.

While I’ve more than played the field with my Merlin’s, Doctor Who’s and Demon’s, ITV1’s flagship show has always managed to stray just oft corner of my flagrantly easy sci-fi eye.

But as I sat down, ready to pop my Primeval cherry, it already had my rapt attention for a couple of reasons.

First and foremost, as any long-term viewer (or quick Google-searcher) will know, is former S-Club Teeny-bopper Hannah Spearitt’s seemingly allergic aversion to any form of lower-half apparel, and stubborn determination to combat some of mythology’s most terrifying beasties in nothing but a pair of Hello Kitty tighty whiteys.

Second though, is its refusal to lie down in the face of ITV’s standard ‘Sci-Fi’ One-Series cull Why d’ya reckon that is? Read more to find out…

Sold?: American Airlines – Kevin Spacey performs the art of wistful sitting

March 27, 2009 by  
Filed under Features

Oh Kevin, how you ponder.  How you struggle to find the meaning of the “great seat?.  How it plays on your mind as you recline and shuffle and clench your buttocks looking longingly into the middle distance to a tinkley piano soundtrack.  But wait…at last! Your struggle is over. Huzzah! Why, pray we ask?

Danny Dyer Goes Nuts in New Lads Mag Role

March 27, 2009 by  
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Easy Guvnor! London’s cockiest wide boy, Danny Dyer, is preparing for his most typecast role yet – a journalist at a lads mag.

No doubt the fictional publication will be brimming with thought provoking articles on the triumvirate of unifying male interests – boys toys, boobs and beer – and that Dyer will be whipped into submission by his saucy boss Tracy-Ann Oberman (with more than a slight possibility of a reverse manager/secretary fantasy methinks).

After pretending to be Ross Kemp for the last few years, with TV fiascos such as, Danny Dyer’s Deadliest Men and The Real Football Factories (an insight into the misunderstood lives of football fans and hooligans), it’s high time that Dyer got back to what he did best – being a cute (albeit chauvinistic) cockney rascal.

This Morning Says Farewell Fern

March 26, 2009 by  
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Momma Britton is abandoning us all; students, the jobless and fans of her hysterical chuckling alike. The bosom where many of the country’s tragic loners have sought comfort and wept their salty tears is turning away for pastures new.

Rumoured pay rows with Schofield and gastric band operations aside, who could possibly replace Britters on the sofa? Who would fill her well-worn buttock imprint? Luckily, there are a few more months of Fern action before we are forced to cut the cord, on her birthday, July 17th.

For those of you who need your daily Phil of Fern (see what I did there?), here she is in all her giggly glory.

Clough Review: Old Big Head and His Infamous Big Mouth

March 25, 2009 by  
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CLOUGH, ITV1, Wednesday 25th March, 22.35pm Alert me

Brain Clough was a victim of his own candid opinions. I don’t know much about football but having watched this documentary, it is impossible not to admit that Clough was a legend in his day. Winning two European Championships back to back with Nottingham Forest is still considered to be one of the greatest achievements in the history of the beautiful game.

Despite establishing new heights of success on the field, Clough’s opinions made him as polarising as Marmite; in 1977 when the voice of the people hailed Clough for England manager, the FA and in particular Sir Harold Thompson preferred a tamer, more malleable man for the job. “If he was alive today,” Geoffrey Boycott said, “They’d be knocking his door down.?

Clough‘ tells the story of the man behind the forthcoming movie, a man who wanted to fashion a team that played great football, and do it in his own way. Even when faced with his greatest adversary, Leeds manager Don Revie, on national television, he could only be himself. “I want to win the League,? he said “But I want to win it …in a bikini? What?! Tell me more…

Doctor Who Easter Special: Featuring Lee Evans and Jessica Hynes

March 25, 2009 by  
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Lee Evans in Professor Frink shocker! As the Doctor Who Easter special info is leaked it appears that plasticine-faced comic Lee Evans is to play a crafty crackpot called Malcolm (hardly the kind of name that will strike fear into the heart of David Tennant), along with Jessica Hynes who plays Verity Newman, a writer who publishes The Doctor’s Journal of Impossible Things.

From the pictures available, Evans bears a strong resemblance to The Simpsons’ Professor Frink, inventor of contraptions such as the “Sarcasm Detector? and the all important “Hamburger Earmuffs?, but to find out what maniacal Malcolm has created, we’ll just have to tune into “The Planet of The Dead? over the Easter weekend.



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