Top 5 Celebrities on a Rampage

February 3, 2009 by  
Filed under Features

If you have been reading the news over the last few days you might have caught the fact that beloved actor du jour Christian Bale went, well, totally and utterly psycho on the set of Terminator. Now, celebrity has a reputation for turning perfectly decent people into divas and idiots. But whilst it may be true that celebrity has something to do with it, I’m not sure any change in status could make us react like some of these guys do. We’ve compiled the top five celebrity explosions into a litany of sin. Ch-ch-check it out. Starting with the latest mega fail by Batman himself….

Christian Bale

Top quote:“I was…looking at the light”
“Oh GOOOOOOD. And how was it for you? I hope it was f*cking good because it’s useless now, isn’t it”

Jeeeezus H. Christ. Christian Bale’s cool, right? I mean, he’s Batman. BATMAN. He must be cool. Right?

Wrong.

It seems word on the street is that on the set of the new Terminator film, Christian Bale is, not to put too finer point on it, a Complete D*ck and had a bit of a run in with Shane Hurlbut, the film’s Director of Photography. Whilst Bale might have a point that Hurlbut doesn’t know what it’s like to work with serious actors – previous jobs include The Skulls with Joshua Jackson and We Are Marshall with Matthew McConaughey – it doesn’t quite seem fair to call him an amateur…the guy is a member of the American Society of Cinematographers and has worked 16 features.

Fair enough, one of the most frustrating things to happen to an actor is having a scene ruined by a crew member, but this rant doesn’t seem justified. And boy is it a rant. Bale goes absolutely NUTS. Check it out here.

Don’t mess with the Batman, or he’ll rip your lights down. UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE. You basically have to check out this remix of Christian Bale’s angry outburst. It’s by a guy on youtube called revolucian and it’s rockin’.

Bill O’Reilly

Top quote: “WE’LL DO IT LIVE! F*CK IT! WE’LL DO IT LIVE!” “…and five four three two…” “that’s tomorrow and that is it for us today!”

How can you not love Bill O’Reilly’s total technological incompetence? “Playing us out? What? What does that MEAN? This f*cking thing sucks”

Anyway, it’s always good to see a neo-con good-for-nothing bigot like O’Reilly being brought down a notch, particularly when it’s quite literally because he can’t read.

Possibly the best thing about this video is the initial moment of bewilderment when something goes wrong with the teleprompter. It’s this sort of glassy-eyed WTF look. Awesome.

Bjork

Top quote: The silence. The determined, icy silence as Bjork attacks.

Okay, so Bjork’s a bit weird. We’ve known this for a long time. I mean, the woman dresses like a swan and sounds like the noise a theremin would make. But it turns out she’s not just an eccentric, she’s actually also mildly psychotic. Her spokespeople defended her actions by saying the reporter had been hassling her for four days.

My mother did the same thing when I first moved out, but I didn’t try and tear her hair out.

Also, I’m loving how she tries to go back for more. Serious anger issues.

John Sweeney

Top quote: “Do you understand? Do you understand? YOU ARE QUOTING THE SECOND HALF OF THE INTERVIEW NOT THE FIRST HALF”

John Sweeney is a well-respected journalist on the BBC’s Panorama, but confronted with Scientology even this most jaded hack wasn’t able to hold it together. In his defence (as if he needed one – everyone knows those Scientologists are kinda kooky), Sweeney qualified his apology thus: “To understand how I felt, you’ve got to spend six months investigating the Church of Scientology, then a whole week of continued contact with both its followers and its ex-followers, then spend 90 minutes inside an exhibition on mind control and then try to behave normally.”

A fair point. Read the full apology here.

How does the Scientology guy stay calm? I’d have just messed my pants and run.

Michael Richards

Top quote: This one’s from the heckler, rather than Richards himself “It’s not funny. You’re a reject. That’s you never had no shows, no movies. Just Seinfeld”

This is probably the least amusing and most dark one we’ve seen. Michael Richards, who played Kramer in the legendary series Seinfeld, was going through his stand-up routine at a gig in America when he was heckled by a black guy. His reaction?

To basically build up all the walls and barriers that have been broken down between races and tell the heckler that fifty years ago he’d have the guy upside down with a kitchen utensil up his bum. Way to go, douche.

Now you’re feeling nice and angry at Richards, check out his grovelling, snivelly apology on the Letterman show here.

Let us know if you come across any more – we at OTB love nothing more than a graceful, swan-like fall from grace.

By Chris Harding

And if all that wasn’t enough to fulfil your YouTube cravings, make sure to check out our Top 6 Unintentionally Hilarious On-Screen Deaths – Brad Pitt splattered and Bobba Fett Giant Sand Vagina-d. What more could you ask for?