Review: ‘The Nine’ Lays it On Thick, But Tastes Kind of Good
The Nine Channel 5, Wednesday 30th July 10pm
As The Nine opens, it’s a normal day at the bank. Our soon to be main characters wander round in a haze of uber normality, explaining about their lives as they go. We have a Top Surgeon(played by Scott Wolf of Party of Five), ‘Don’t worry patient X, he’s a TOP SURGEON’ (that’s how we know) and his girlfriend; the bank manager and his daughter; and a sexy, sassy assistant district attorney. Oh yeah and a cop with gambling problems and a crush on the bank teller. Like a caveman beating the crap out of his soon to be dinner, the show beats you over the head with the normality of it all, peppered with numerous blows for exposition’s sake.
However it all kicks off when they end up at the wrong place at the wrong time, so to speak, when the bank is held up by two men at gunpoint. ‘Do this right,’ says one ‘and it will all be over in five minutes’.
Cut to 58 hours later, and it wasn’t over in five minutes. The bank is surrounded by police and helicopters, shots ring out and then it explodes into dramatic and mystery laden goodness.
The mystery lies in knowing what the hell happened in those missing 58 hours, something that will be revealed in flashback as the show progresses. This first episode mainly deals with what happens to the victims straight after. Hints and potential storylines fly thick and fast as we see relationships have changed, zeroes have become heroes, lovers have becomes strangers etc etc.
It’s not overly morally complex, but it has that blunt dramatic edge that you can’t help but respond to. To put it in an overly long metaphor it’s a bit like a chocolate cake- so thickly layered and sickly sweet that you can’t help but feel a bit gross after eating it. But there’s something pleasurable about its wrongness so that a week later you have forgotten and go back for more. Something like that, anyway. Basically: a bit trashy, very dramatic but very watchable.
Alert Me when it’s on.
By McGee Noble