Celebrity Wife Swap
Channel 4, Sunday 23rd March 2008
Easter delights last Sunday as two new celebrity wives switched households to spend a few days out of their comfort zone with their counterpart’s hubbie. This week’s candidates (plus other halves) were Bruce Jones, aka Coronation Street’s Les Battersby, and Eighties pop star Sinitta – another masterstroke from the programme’s producers.
From the start, one could clearly see that the age-old personality clash of ‘lazy, obstinate Arse vs. massive Control Freak’ would inevitably ensue, but as with most of these reality docos it’s all about the journey isn’t it? And some journey it was, mostly to and from the pub in Bruce’s case, who turned out to be quite the shirker. This did not go unnoticed and eventually culminated in a furious Sinitta marching down to his local boozer to shame him. As an active mother, not only used to managing her busy career in the public eye and strictly adhering to various beautifying regimes, but also spending time with her own husband, she was finding it exceptionally difficult running around after an absent Bruce. In a vain attempt to harness the beast, a ban on TV, smoking and drinking was imposed. Moreover, she insisted he help out with chores including picking up his Granddaughter from school, who he lives with yet hardly sees.
Unfortunately, this family bonding was yet another thing that did not go quite to plan – Bruce thought it a cunning idea to take his Granddaughter down the pub for a ‘treat’. Treat my arse. Sinitta looked on horrified as the 16-year-old had drinks bought for her by Bruce’s wrinkly chums with a spot more than lemonade in them. This all went over a rosy-cheeked Bruce’s head, who seemed completely flummoxed as to why they weren’t actively encouraging the girl to get mashed up with her Granddad.
On the other side of the swap, having had a rather lovely time with Sinitta’s husband, tenderly teaching him to further appreciate his children and being whisked off on evenings out to swanky bars, Bruce’s wife was slowly figuring out that she had, in fact, been taken for a downright doormat. She thus, started to plan her imminent insurrection. By the post-swap discussion, Bruce did not seem to have too many fans as Sinitta and his wife proceeded to hit it off superbly with banter largely revolving around his flaws.
A promise of change did finally follow however, and one can only hope and prey for the lady whose husband’s initial response to having her home was a childlike skip towards the telly to plug it back in and a sincere pledge to take her down the pub for a pint and a packet of crisps. Oh dear, leopards, spots…
By Susan Allen