Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

November 7, 2007 by  
Filed under Reviews

Channel 4, Tuesday 6th November

Gordon Ramsay“The food was sh*t?, declared Gordon after tasting the slop initially served to him in Piccolo Teatro, the little restaurant tucked away on a street in Paris where this week’s show found him. Hardly surprising – as the nature of the series dictates – that the food is often rather disastrous before our culinary hero swoops in to save the day. However, this particular vegetarian eatery looked like it would give him a run for his money, apparently doomed from the start with a circus of staff swept up in the culture of carefree, more set on entertainment than service. No doubt, the daydreamer chef, David was doing his utmost to stop an astounded Gordon from liberating the hungry mob at dinner time with a fine attempt at breaking the world record for slowest chopping of an apple. Moreover, when asked to leave he reached for a knife and had to be restrained, eventually being carried out of the place in a Ramsay fireman’s lift!

Gordon put them all to shame, single-handedly cooking for and serving the lunchtime trade that Scottish boss, Rachel was sure weren’t worth the bother. Feeding her cat had so far ranked significantly higher than her customers, but seeing the money on the table looked like it at last sparked in her a sense of motivation. With father Brian flying out to join the rescue mission came too a new chef, India – a lassie that little bit more on the ball and willing to learn Gordon’s ways of kitchen toil. Taking her under his wing, he clearly saw her as the restaurant’s ticket to success and things began to look up.

Determinedly setting off on a quest to bring sexy back to vegetarian food, they took a stroll down the Moulin Rouge to sample the local beverages and watch some performers shaking some feathers, and breasts, to inspire Piccolo Teatro with the zesty spirit of Parisian indulgence. Naughty pastry tartlets were made as free samples and some cancan dancers brought in to attract attention (many a tart joke was had) and at last the restaurant saw the guests fired up about their menu. All appeared to be going well, as is so often the way with the third part of the programme but by the time the last ad break was over, Gordon looked set for disappointment as he returned to the scene of the cuisine to find lights off and the doorway bolted.

A nonchalant Rachel stormed out, unwilling to listen to Gordon tell her that she “deserve[d] a kick up the f**king arse? and her father dispiritedly concluded that the place be sold. At that, Gordon washed his hands of Piccolo Teatro, salvaging what was worth salvaging as he whisked young India back to England for work experience in one of his own restaurants. A cheerily hopeful conclusion for the aforementioned diamond in the rough – as one door closes another one opens it would seem. Perhaps she’ll star in a spin-off, ‘Ramsay’s Kitchen Dreams’. You heard it here first.

By Susan Allen